Office Drama!

I guess I jumped the gun yesterday, Pamela Anderson denies rumors that she's pregnant. Oh well. It's okay though, I've got other, juicier rumors to tackle, from right here in the holler!

First, a little background:

Some of ya'll might remember when Bubbles first came back to work after a three year absence, she barely had her chair warm before she'd filed a harassment report against one of the guys in the office. Soon after that incident, there was the big brouhaha she caused when she filed complaints against Psycho Wendell, which lead to this and this and nearly caused me to stab my own cousin in the neck.

It's common knowledge around the asylum that Bubbles wanders the earth, constantly looking for a reason to be offended. Well, when she's not discussing her uterus, childbirth and her husbands testicles with her customers or using any excuse she can find to rub her lack o' tattas on Tiny's back while he's at his computer. The girl seems seriously conflicted in the head. It wasn't that long ago when she went all apeshit on one of the guys out in the plant after he congratulated her on her pregnancy... 'cept she wasn't pregnant.

Yesterday morning, after the managers came out of their daily meeting and made their way down the hall, single file, Bubbles stopped Purchasing Guy.

"PG! I need you," she said.

"I've been waiting all my life to hear that," he answered.

"Oh excuse me, what did you say?" she asked.

"I said I've been waiting all my life to hear that!" he said before entering her office.

Bubbles was in an obvious huff following that, spending the next 30 minutes in the personnel office behind closed doors. At the time, I didn't think much of it, but later, as Bubbles and the HR manager left their "Committee to Force Employees to be Healthier because we're not Far Enough up in their Personal Business as it is" meeting, the HR manager was heard asking Bubbles,"Well, I can email him or we can call him."

"I prefer to talk to people," Bubbles said.

With that they both went back to personnel, closed the door and the HR manager set her phone to "Busy."

Wtf?

For the entire morning, PG was not seen nor heard. He is normally a very boisterous fellow, one we are constantly asking to lower his voice as he hollers up and down the hall. But not yesterday morning. His door was closed tight and not a peep was heard.

Weird.

Could it be that Bubbles was "offended" by PG's response to her yesterday morning?

Bubbles barely spoke to anyone for the remainder of the day yesterday, other than her family and friends who tag teamed her on the company line and her cellphone.

For those of you sort of new to the Cubicle Asylum politics, let me give you the Readers Digest Condensed version. Thelma and Louise share an office across the hall. We'll refer to them as "the Bridge Alliance" because they act as a sort of bridge between the office and the plant. On this side of the hall is me and Lulu. We'll call them.. er.. us.. "the Old Timers Alliance" because we've both been here a long time and we've been friends the longest. This leaves Bubbles to act as sort of a free agent, playing both halves against the middle, which she tries to do but isn't very good at.

Thelma and Louise know pretty much everything that happens in the Cubicle Asylum and Frog Pond Holler. If they hear a call on the scanner and aren't able to immediately decipher what's going on, they get on the phone and start chasing down the details. Thelma however, will tell you that gossip is a sin and you'll go to hell for it, so she usually has Louise do all the calling.

Ya'll might recall that yesterday, Louise called in sick. The following exchange was overheard as Bubbles answered a call yesterday afternoon.

"Hey you! Wuz you siiiiiick this moornin?"

Ooooo... it must be Louise!!

"I dunno what yer tawkin' 'bout, what's a'goin' on with you?"

Did Thelma call Louise at home, inform her that something was going on and have her call Bubbles to get info???

The plot thickens.

Later in the day, I'd been keying in a big order and my butt cheeks were going numb. I needed to get up and walk around for a minute or two, but just before I did, Bubbles got a text message (the beep-beep is really loud) and left her desk. I waited a second then followed, being all stealthy and spy-like. I found her in the parking lot standing next to her bubbahubby's truck, her arms flailing about as they do when she's being the drama queen of Hee-Haw County. Bubbahubby looked very stern, whatever she was telling him was not making him happy.

Bubbles has barely spoken to anyone in the office today, although she has been popping that fricken gum like a street hooker all morning. Lulu and I have discussed the situation and we're not 100% convinced that we're right about PG being the culprit. I'm pretty certain that someone, a male, said something to her she didn't like, but who that was remains to be seen. Bubbles was overheard telling someone on the phone, presumably someone in her family, that she thought they were wrong, she didn't have to "pity" someone like that, pity was too strong a word and that "he" didn't deserve her pity.

I really wish I knew what the sam hill was going on. I'll keep ya'll posted as the situation evolves.. and I'm sure it will.

Later Taters!