Explosions, Gnomes and a Very Picky Ma

Shortly after the Amazon ordered her new laptop from Dell (with her own credit), I stumbed upon video of this incident, where one exploded into flames in Japan (sorry, I couldn't find the video again). Needless to say I've tormented her endlessly about this, even threatening to buy her a spiffy new fire extinguisher for her birthday. The pretty, blue Splode a' Dell arrived today, I think she may have accosted the UPS driver before he even got out of his truck. I hope he escaped unharmed. At least now, I won't have to share (I was an only child, nuff said.)



***
I left work at noon yesterday for a doctor's appointment. It was time for my physical. I'll spare you the gory details. Let's just say all my nooks and crannies have been deemed "ready for action" should the need ever arise for "action" again, in this lifetime (Dear God please.)

After that extreme invasion into my very personal space (and one muscle cramp that nearly resulted in the good doc getting kicked in the head), I ventured to the grocery store. Ma had given me her debit card with a list of requests, making certain that I understood that since she was buying, I'd better not come home with anything sugar-free, fat-free or low anything, that there'd better be a substantial supply of meat and if there was even ONE grain of rice, I'd wake up in the morning to find all of my belongings out on the curb. Never let it be said that I can't take a hint. Jeeze.

Our kitchen is now so fully stocked with the flesh of assorted creatures and carbs of every variety imaginable, that I can enter the room and gain ten pounds, purely by osmosis.


***
The latest news from the cubicle is disturbing at best. There's another sexual harrassment situation brewing between my newest coworker and one of the menfolk. It seems to happen a lot there. Our GM has had at least three lawsuits against him, which resulted in all of the females on staff being interrogated by the corporate lawyer. I really don't want to have to go through that again. There have been a few other situations, one involving me when a well meaning co-worker, on her last day of employment, reported that she'd witnessed me being harrassed sexually on several occasions. I know she meant well, but it kind of ticked me off. I felt I'd already handled the situation, in my own way and the person had backed off. It was so embarrassing being called into HR and asked about "inappropriate touching."


***
Now, I'm off to tackle the kitchen. I think there must be garden gnomes sneaking in there partying late at night, eating all the food and messing up the dishes. There's always a fresh pile of laundry too, why do they have to change clothes so often? Maybe they're drag queen garden gnomes. They'd better stay out of my makeup.