Texting with Aunt Moses



Sometimes, I think Aunt Moses is guilty of drunk texting. This was totally out of the blue, it's not out of context or altered in any way. 


Aunt Moses: So your pasta is done when it sticks to the wall. I guess watermelon is ripe when it sticks to the wall and ceiling.

Me: Um....how did it get there?

Aunt Moses: It was thrown and spit and flipped.

Me: Did someone get the piss smacked out of them?

Aunt Moses: No! You were only 2


Keep in mind, I was thinking that she'd come home to a watermelon splattered kitchen, where she resides with 3 other adults. This is when I quietly turn my phone off for a few days.