Sunday, December 20, 2015

Nutmeg, Turbo Bitch and George Lopez

No I'm not dead. I didn't get abducted by aliens or run away to live in the woods with Bigfoot.

I'll get to all that in a minute. First, let me introduce you to the little heathen I found in the parking lot at The Asylum:


Her name is Nutmeg. She was a tiny little thing, sitting in my parking space one day when I came back from lunch. I caught her with a bribe of the ham sandwich I'd brought. The vet guesses she was about 3 months old when I found her.

She's a snuggle bunny and Grimm has claimed her as his own. They play and he grooms her, it's adorable.

Kitty? Not so much. But at least now Grimm leaves her alone.

So let's dive head first in to everything else, shall we?

The Asylum is a clusterfuck. The Germans, who have now been bought by The Swiss, are amazing. They're making improvements left and right, we have amazing health insurance and nice pay. However, the little hussy they hired as Business Administrator is a total turbo bitch.

To date, I've been called in to a meeting with a select few others from the office and accused of starting rumors because business is slow and some of the guys from the plant asked the Big Guy why Gorilla Head wasn't selling anything.

They seem to think that when the plant guys are standing around with their thumbs up their hiney, they don't have enough sense to figure out why on their own.

I've been asked to leave a training meeting because, although I was sick as a dog and trying not to choke on my own snot, but showed up anyway, my cough was disruptive.

I lost my office and got kicked back to the hallway.

Lulu got her butt reamed for ten minutes because Turbo Bitch forgot what we told her two days before.

The new receptionist is a whiney ass ..... AND SHE STOLE MY EFFIN' SCISSORS.

To quote Stevie Nicks:

"The sea changes colors, but the sea, does not change."

Anywho, there's more.. so much more.. but I don't want to get myself all in a wad again. I've spent the past months sucking up and trying to be welcoming of the newest members of our staff, but this past week, they flipped the bitch switch.

In other news, I've been avoiding FB and Twitter mainly because of politics. Scratch that.. mainly because of Donald Trump. I even got my ass handed to me by George Lopez on Twitter.  Time for a reality check.

Also, I'm paranoid as hell at work to use the internet. They gave us the wiffy password, even put a access thingie in the hall, right outside my office. All I need is my phone to auto log on to FB and I'm toast. Or maybe not. I'm not sure. So.. no innerwebs at work.

Anyone know anything about phone encryption?

Back at the trailer, I've been working my ass off trying to get stuff back in order.

I know, Same ol' Song and Dance.

So far, I've gotten rid of the old entertainment center and the ginormous box tv. (I say got rid of, but they're piled on the front porch. The county wants 15 bucks to toss a tv. WTF???) I got a book case to ease the scatter of books every damn where. The fireplace has been beautified with some remote controlled candles from the dolla store.

I'm getting there.

But right now? The laundry room smells like skanky cat butt and there are dishes piled to kingdom come.

I'd better get on that.

Ya'll have a great holiday and hang in there. We're all gonna make it.

Later Taters!!

Monday, September 21, 2015

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Me and T.A. went for another nature hike on Sunday. I don't know what possesses us to go, ain't neither one of us in any kinda shape to heaving our fat asses up and down the mountain.

It did give me a chance to test out my new camera. Ya'll knew I was going to splurge and buy something JUST for me.

We both survived... after lots of wheezing, groaning and rest stops.

More shots on Flickr!

Later Taters!

Friday, September 18, 2015

And Now I Can Breathe

Lord ya'll, it's been a while.

Let's start with The Asylum since that seems to be where most of the tales worth telling are brewing.

First off, Gorilla Head, while sorta smart assy (and who among is not.. on occasion,) has gone out of his way to make sure I have anything I need, been helpful and willing to do most of what I've asked of him. He has a whole new attitude.

Lulu, Kat and I were discussing Gorilla Head and his strange personality change today. The general consensus is that it's because of the new company. It has been repeated by the new management, over and over again, that they want us to be happy.. that they need us and want us to look forward to coming to work every day.

This is a new concept to all of us and we are constantly dumbfounded by the Germans. They look at us, what we've had to work with for the past 20 years and shake their heads. They constantly voice their amazement at what we've accomplished with so little.

There are rumors of brick walls being knocked out and windows being put in. By the first of the year, our archaic DOS based inventory control system will be replaced by the latest version, our effed up phone system will be replaced by VOIP and there will be fiber optic innerwebs.

Beginning October 1st, we'll have new health insurance. The cost will be about the same, but we'll go back to having a copay instead of a redunkulous deductible.

I damned near cried when I heard that little tidbit.

Today I got called back to the conference room for a one on two meeting with the new Business Administrator and Gorilla Head. I was briefed on the general plans for the near future, then she told me they wanted to acknowledge my past experience with the company and apologize for the lack of compensation we'd all experienced over the years.

Remember when I was job hunting and I said I'd consider driving an hour each way to Big City for $30K a year?

Well now I can stay in The Holler for $29K. It comes out to like.. $3 an hour more, effective immediately.

I did cry after that.

Last week, I took my 401K and paid off the house. When I called the tax office to find out what was owed, I discovered that if it had not been settled up before the end of this year, they would have started the process to take the property. I didn't have enough to pay it all off, but I can catch it up to 2012 and they said I can make payments on the rest.

If all this hadn't happened when it did... well.. that's some Divine intervention right there.

A new riding lawn mower is coming soon and I'm finally going to replace my gigantor square television with a sleek new one. I will, of course, still get a refurb bewb tube from the big electronics store.. because it's cheaper and just as good.

But this weekend?

I'M GITTIN' MY NAILS DID!!!! I might even splurge and get my toesies all purtified too.. but maybe not. I don't know.

Let's don't get crazy.

So now, there will be no more trying every farking thing on the innerwebs to make extra money. No more selling Little Bunny Poopoo on Etsy or writing mind numbing articles for .03 a word. No more experimenting with blog ads or trying to sell Amazon stuff on Twitter.

I can go to work every day and come home to some version of an actual life... like a normal feckin' human being.

Ya'll may have to help with that. I'm not sure I'll know what to do with myself.

We'll talk again soon. I gotta go get The Amazon out of bed and send her off to work.

Later Taters!!