Of Garcia, Barney and Asylum Chronicles

Lawd have mercy. It's colder than yeti tits up in this rv. Thank goodness for five dolla' fuzzy leopard print pj bottoms.

I left work early yesterday and went to Not-So-Big-City to get my new glasses. They look nice, if I do say so myself and are somewhat less "poor ho trailer trash" and slightly more "present day nerdified with a touch of designer elegance, like if Garcia from Criminal Minds had to dress slightly more business than casual."

More importantly, I can see. Well.. most of the time. As long as I don't make any sudden moves. It's my first bi-focals. The doc's sage advice? "Don't look down." I probably shouldn't have worn them straight out to the fabric store and then to Wallyworld for groceries. By the time I got to the checkout, I'd gotten myself so confused about which half to look through when, my head was bobbing and weaving like drunken prize fighter.

 But anywho...

Things at The Asylum have been.. interesting. I think I've pissed everyone off at least once in the past week. In an effort to keep myself from getting so upset over piddly chit, I've been taking a very small dose of clonazepam in the mornings. My noggin doc had suggested it as a pre-emptive measure when Bossholio would come back from his mandatory weeks off with a chip on his shoulder. Amazing how much work you can get done when you reach a chemically induced state of the notgivashits.

We have issues getting our product out the door on time. As the sole sales force (I don't count Bossholio) it makes my job.. well.. it makes it suck big red ones.. when customers call to get tracking info for their order and I have to tell them it's not going to ship for another week. Problem is, I usually don't know it's not going on time until they call and ask about it. I've been working diligently since the beginning of the year to make sure that doesn't happen anymore.

I now have a desk calendar with all the orders with their scheduled ship dates proudly displayed. Thelma calls it the headache calendar because she says I'm getting on her nerves. I call and pester the effin' crap out of everyone involved in getting stuff out the door on a daily basis. I'm determined to nip this whole "it's not my job" attitude that has spread like the plague throughout the plant, right in the bud.



Of course, to do this, I have to take on crap that totally isn't my job, but what the hell.

I know they don't like it because whenever we're discussing why this and that didn't go as scheduled and the GM walks by, Thelma gets all pissy and says, "She's trying to be efficient, keep us all on our toes, giving me a headache!"

It also means I'm in a constant pissing contest with the shipping guy, but that's sorta fun.. for me anyway.

Meanwhile, back in the girl cave...

I've got sewing supplies lying all over. The new PM wants me to make six pillows for her. Apparently her basement is the designated flop house for all the kids from the high school and she likes them to be comfy. I'm mostly using fabric I already have, but I had to buy two super sized bags of poly-fill and some muslin, which is what I was doing at the fabric store. I'm also going to try to make myself a new purse, so I needed some fabric stiffy stuff and buttons. If it comes out like I'm thinking, I might offer them for sale in my shop.

I've got a big order to fill (I sold a rug, earrings and nail oil!) and finish the purple rug I'm working on. There are also three books lying here that I need to get listed. They're not gonna sell sitting on the table.

The Amazon has exciting news at work. She's moving on up (she gets all pissed off when I call her Weezy, but I think it's cute) and will soon be working less vampire-like hours and will be off on weekends.

Anywho..

I reckon I'd better get my butt in gear. I hope ya'll have a great weekend. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!

P.S. Take it from me, do NOT do an image search for "yeti tits". That is all.

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Wisdom Comes From the Damnedest Places

It's been a gray, dreary and extremely wet weekend in in Frog Pond Holler. The yard is squishy and gross, my clothes will probably take three days to dry on the line (even though they're on the porch and covered) and my visit to the eye doc on Friday was less than happy.

Oh I got some super designer frames, mostly 'cuz none of the ones covered 100% by our insurance would fit my fat head, but sixty bucks for a complete set of bifocals isn't bad. I guess. I'd never been to this doc before and while I really didn't need to know about his butt getting probed the last time he had a physical, I liked him okay. I almost got out of there without too much trauma, until after he hit my eyes with the drops, peered inside then sat back to explain the finer points of macular degeneration.

The good news is, we've caught it in the early stages and my eyesight is pretty good (for my age) to begin with. He told me to start taking Lutein daily to slow the progression.

The bad news? There's no cure.

I've been in the throws of a full fledged pity party for most of the weekend, just contemplating the possibility of ending up blind. Then, tonight, I recalled a quote from Winifred "Fred" Burkle from "Angel", who laid down some Texas wisdom when confronted with a returning vampire, Darla, who was preggers and did it way better than Twilight ever could:

"Can I say something about destiny? Screw destiny. If this evil thing comes, we'll fight it and we'll keep fighting it till we whoop it. Because destiny is just another word for inevitable. And nothing is inevitable as long as you stand up, look it in the eye and say, "You're evitable." (pauses) Well, you catch my drift."


I love Fred.

You just never know who I might quote. Maybe the Dalai Lama. Maybe Deepak Chopra. Or Winifred Burkle.

I feel like I've not gotten a damned thing done all weekend, but I've been kinda productive. I ordered some Jojoba oil because although Big City and surrounding areas are jam packed with hippified massage places, it's nearly impossible to find in the stores. Go figure. I also started a new rug, all purples and blues. I think it's going to be pretty.

I'm just tired I guess. And kinda lonely. Ya know how it is, when you get bad news is when you kinda wish you had a shoulder to cry on.

But no time for that. I gotta put on my big girl panties and get crackin'. Because nothing is inevitable.

Ya'll have a good week. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!

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Mahala on Lowe's, Muslims and A Big Steaming Pile of WTF?

Most of ya'll will remember when I first moved in to the girl cave. It was no secret that I maxed out my Lowe's card buying supplies to make my new-used.. hell.. vintage.. RV livable. (That's right, I'm one of those scary assed hillbillies that lives in a recreational vehicle and peddles fertilizer on the innerwebs. Rumor is that I'm eat up with Melungeon too, that's hillbillies with mysterious Middle Eastern blood. Put that in your hookah and smoke it. And hide your valuables.)


I loved Lowes. When night time temps in the holler dipped down into the nippie icicle range, I headed straight for my favorite home improvement store. I'd been through two little heaters that just weren't cutting it. Right here on this very blog I sang the praises of the sales lady who kindly helped me find the right model, within my price range, then whispered that if I came back in a few days (on Black Friday) I could get it for half price.

I damned near hug tackled the poor woman right there by the gas logs.

But then? Somewhere on the almighty internet, probably on Twitter but I wouldn't swear to it, I clicked a link that took me to an article about how Lowe's had pulled it's advertising from the TLC show "All-American Muslim" after bowing to pressure from an email campaign spawned by the Florida Family Association.

Say what?

Now I'll admit, I've only watched the show in question a few times. It's okay, but "reality" shows are usually anything but and I'm kinda over the whole genre. But, that's not the point. What crawled up my ass sideways about the whole thing was that Lowe's made a huge business decision based on the religious beliefs of a group of crackpots down in Gator country.

I took it upon myself to do a little checking into the FFA. Here is an actual list of "causes" from their actual website, where you can click a link and send a FORM EMAIL, just adding your name and address:




I will remember Mars and Wrigley’s advertising support for this irresponsible program. (Because apparently Mars and Wrigley will make your kid gay)


Please do not support this propaganda. (Apparently TLC airing a show about Americans who happen to be Muslim is offensive.)


Amerimar Enterprise should be ashamed for showing Islamic extremists favor over American traditionalists. (This one is because the FFA got it's panties in a wad when an Islamic group protested their holding a two day event promoting the "Stop the Islamization of America" and it got cancelled. Oh wah. Cry me a river.)


AARP advocacy for LGBT political agenda is inappropriate and disrespectful. (More anti-LGBT bullcrap. Do you know how many Lesbians work at just our local Lowe's? I wonder how they feel about their employer making business decisions based on the rantings of this hate group?)


Marvel and Disney! Please don’t target our children with a gay Spider-Man super hero. ("Target our children?" Really?)


A public appeal for Governor Rick Scott to direct FDLE or appoint a special prosecutor to investigate the death of Fatimah Abdallah (I don't really understand what they're getting at here, all I know is they're quoting Fox News.. so um.. yeah.)


The CAIR forced removal of Professor Barry Sommer and the course What Is Islam tramples upon the First Amendment rights of academia across America. (I love this: "Do you want CAIR dictating who is allowed to teach in American colleges and universities?" I don't want the FFA dictating anything. Not until they've had their meds.)


Yes I will pray for the court to rule in favor of the Oklahoma amendment (Oh I think we all need to pray more. But do I want the FFA telling me what to pray for? I wouldn't even trust them to order my Happy Meal at the drive-thru)


Shell Oil is the only major oil company that allows independent retailers to sell smut magazines (OH NO NOT SMUT!!!!! Now they're anti-bewbies. God loves bewbies. He made them)


Campbell Soup sponsorship of Islamic conference (Those chubby cheeked Campbell kids are terrorists. Clearly)


Circle K Stores is the Largest Convenience Store Chain In America that sells pornography. (Circle K is the only chain that hasn't buckled to their pressure. I say ALL HAIL THE CIRCLE K!!!)


Allowing thousands of families and children to unknowingly be forced to experience Gay Pride Day at Disney is wrong (Lord have mercy. "Unknowingly forced." I bet they're fine with prepubescent teens running around in their booty shorts, licking each others tonsils on Magic Mountain.)

Keep in mind, it's not just that they provide email addresses to send your rants to, they have the whole email already written. You just add your name and hit send. And ya know what? That's their right.. I suppose. But Lowe's received these emails and acted on them. THAT's what I can't believe. 

Twitter blew up with anti Lowe's tweets. Their Facebook page turned into a huge anti Muslim, anti Floridian, anti Christian, pro shotgun freeforall. Lowe's issued a half-assed backhanded apology, that really wasn't. It's ridiculous.

"All-American Muslims" isn't about immigrants making a new home in the states. It's about families. Of AMERICANS. Born here, where we proudly exercise our freedoms, one of which is freedom of religion. 

Yes, there are Islam extremists, but I think this proves that there are Christian extremists too. And I'm sorry but, I take offence at their even calling themselves Christian. Seriously. What would Jesus do? He'd spank their whiney little asses with a big wooden paddle and tell them to stop being a bunch of childish little haters and learn to play right. 

I'm seriously pissed off at Lowe's. My first order of business when I get my tax refund this year, is to pay off my credit card and cut it up. 

Will I ever shop there again? Well, I never say never. I will promise you though, that I will shop at locally owned businesses when at all possible or I will drive an hour out of my way to the Home Depot. 

I'm glad I got that out of my system. 

Ya'll have a great one. We'll talk again soon

Later Taters!

(Comments welcome, let me have it!)

Update: This article states Lowe's denies pressure from the FFA caused them to pull ads.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/21/idUS366369141220111221

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