Castile Soap On the Cheap

When it comes to any health care or beauty products, it's damned near impossible to find any that is cruelty free and contains no animal products. Once I looked in to the eyes of my own little bunny foofoos, I shuddered at the thought of them being strapped down and tortured just so that I could feed my own vanity by smearing smelly crap on my skin or hair. In my quest to find critter friendly conditioner, I also discovered that just because something says "cruelty free," meaning it was not tested on animals, it could still contain gelatin, derived from animal hooves.

Aside from my touch feely emotions towards animals, I really didn't want that crap on my hair.

Enter castile soap. Castile soap is named for the region of Spain where it originated, made from olive and laurel oil. It's popularity spread throughout Europe and the name eventually came to describe any soap made from plant based oils.

Most of you earth mothery (and fathery) types have no doubt heard of Dr. Bronners Castile soap, the liquid washy potion that comes super concentrated and smells like angel tears. If you have, you also know you have to take out a small loan to buy it on a regular basis.

I'm not knocking it, it is organic and that's great, but organic isn't really a priority when looking for something to wash my hair or scrub counter tops with. After some innerwebs digging, reading and price comparisons, I found this little gem:

This is not a paid endorsement. Promise.

Kirk's is made from coconut soap, water, vegetable glycerin, coconut oil and natural fragrance. Their website states:

Leaping Bunny Program
The Coalition for Consumer Information on Cosmetics (CCIC) Leaping Bunny Program administers a cruelty-free standard and the internationally recognized Leaping Bunny Logo for companies like Kirk's Natural producing cosmetic, personal care, and household products. This program provides the best assurance that no animal testing, animal cruelty, or animal by-products are used in any phase of manufacturing.

Awesome, right up my ally. I sent The Amazon to the World of Wall to pick up a pack for a little over three bucks. That's about a dollar a bar. Again, I scoured the innerwebs for instructions on liquefying a bar of soap, which was basically, boil a quart of water, pour over cut up chunks of soap and wait. It'll be melted the next day. However, do not melt the soap in a narrow glass neck container, like a used vinegar bottle. The super concentrated form of liquid castile will be thicker than toddler snot and you'll have to shove a wooden skewer up in the bottle and twirl it around while shaking the bottle violently to get it out. This may result in a soapy snotty mess on your counter top and the eventual impaling of your bewb with the fore mentioned wooden skewer.

Don't ask me how I know. Just put the shit in a wide mouth jar. Take my word for it.

Before I continue, I should let you know you can go to the Kirk's website and buy a wide range of their vegan products already mixed up and labeled all pretty like. Personally, I'm learning to be middle class poor, so I'll just make my own.

To make shampoo, find a container (I used an empty 20oz Coke Zero bottle,) fill half with water and half with toddler snot your new super concentrated castile soap. You can add essential oils, I had peppermint on hand so that's what I used. Your new poo will be very liquidy, do you won't have to worry about the wooden skewer or bewb puncture wounds to get it out of the bottle and you'll want to be careful with it, but just a dab lathers up nice, gets your hair clean and no critters are tortured for your beauty. A squeeze bottle, like a used dish detergent container, would probably work best.

Using this formula, I figure I can get at least six months worth of poo out of that $1 bar of soap. Of course, I'll actually be using the new mixture for other things, I can't wait to wash the dogs in it.

For the curious, I also tackled my own conditioner. I added about a tablespoon of Jojoba oil, because that's what I had handy, to a squirt bottle with a little lemon essential oil and filled it the rest of the way with water. All the recipes for shampoo and conditioner insist on using distilled water, but if you're using the water that comes out of the tap to wash your hair anyway, I don't see how that matters. I just have to shake the living hell out of it each time I use it, spray a little on my hair when I get out of the shower and I'm lemony fresh. My comb slides right through it.

By the way, you have to shake the poo before you use it too.

It's exercise people. It get's your blood to moving.

Anywho, I'd better get back to work. Y'all have a good one. Later Taters!