I'm not sure how to begin....
The reality, not just of the amount of my raise, but the facts behind why it was so minuscule, has been gnawing at me for weeks. The corporate office is rolling in dough, with their glass conference tables and hi-rise building while I struggle to put gas in Jolene. The halt that was put on our monthly bonus (just me, Lulu and Thelma, all other non-management employees still get it, ya know.. just us "girls" are left out) the absence of cost of living raises (again, all other non-management employees just got .42 an hour, but the three of us are excluded,) all wear on my mind.
Turn that shit off people.
I started making my own laundry soap about two years ago. In the past two weeks, I've cut my own hair, made my own cruelty free, hoof free shampoo and conditioner. I've studied how to create passive solar heating for the trailer, how to collect water and make my own dog food.
It sounds like I've gone all prepper right? All those docs talking about reaching "peak oil" and government conspiracies, capitalism, consumerism.. it's all gone to my head... ya think? When TSHTF (that's prepper talk for when the shit hits the fan) we're going to have to know how to survive, right?
Well, not exactly.. not like you think anyway.
Here in the holler.. at Mahala's house? The shit already hit the fan. I make shampoo because I run out and can't afford to buy more. I make conditioner for the same reason. I cut my own hair because while I can spring for the $12 Fantastic Sams special, I can't justify spending another $30 for the gas to make the round trip journey.
I don't think I'm alone. I think it's starting all over the country. Everyone is waiting for this big "event" to flip the switch.. but this is it. We're slowly sinking.
When I was about 6, the private school I attended gave swimming lessons. The first time I went in, I slipped and accidentally ended up on the deep end, struggling and gasping for air. The instructor had to pull me out. It seems like I've been desperately trying to keep my head above water ever since.
In the coming months, as I start my little garden, get some chickens, make plans for goats and start building my privacy fence (here in the holler, people are so far up your butt you can't pick your nose without them commenting or better yet, telling you how you SHOULD be doing it,) we'll pretend I'm just going all homesteader. Or prepper. Or new age hippie. But the reality is just figuring out a way to survive in the new America.
Land of the free.
Home of the brave.