It Might Not Be Okay, But It'll Be Different

It's cloudy, gray and squishy in Frog Pond Holler today. The house is filled with the putrid odor of hair color as I try in vain to beat back the gray and as of this moment, as far as I know, I am still employed.

I guess it goes without saying, especially to those of you who've read here the longest, that I've been a wreck since my batshit crazy episode at work the other day. Bossman hasn't mentioned it to me at all, but when Thelma came in on Thursday and I filled her in on the latest, she said the GM had called in wanting to know who had called him from the office.

He's on vacation in Myrtle Beach. He does not want to be bothered while on vacation.

Thelma put him through to his secretary, who was privvy to my side of the story and who, I'm sure, filled him in, complete with my snot filled blubbering ugly girl crying episode in her office. We don't know if he ever talked to Bossman or not.

By Thursday afternoon, I'd convinced myself that Bossman was just waiting for the GM to come back in on Monday so he could fire me. The GM likes to be there anytime someone from the administrative staff gets the axe. I'd worked out my vacation hours for the rest of the year, every Friday starting in November, but I was afraid if I took it to Bossman, he'd tell me to hold on to it until Monday or he'd just lay it down or something. My gut was in knots. It wouldn't have taken much for me to start puking.

I eventually worked up the nerve to turn it in and he thanked me for it. We then went over the schedule for the rest of the year, he taking the opportunity to let me know when he expected to be out of the office.

I could sorta breathe after that.

Bossman is going to be out of the office on Monday when the GM gets back from vacation. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. It can still go in any number of different directions, but I'm trying to just tell myself that whatever happens, I'll deal with it. I've also realized that this all started with the passive aggressive letter Bossman left waiting for me on my desk when I came back to work after taking off two whole days (the nerve of me) when Ma was in the hospital. The one that implied I was an imcompetant slacker because my filing was behind.

That's when I developed an attitude.

I kept the letter. I'm thinking I should take it with me Monday, just in case the GM wants to chat.

For the record, Bossman has been so nice since my "episode" that it's a little scary. I'm hoping he's just going to let it go. If he wanted to fire me, technically he has every right. But at the same time, he's got to know that he's been beyond unreasonable for six months now and I'm only human.

On a side note, I couldn't remember alot of what I said to him at first, I guess because of my state of mind at the time, but little tidbits keep coming back to me.

The cringe factor is horrible.

Anywho, I'm going to go wash the dye out of my hair. Ya'll have a good weekend. I'll be tidying up a bit while seriously reconsidering my decision to give up drinking and smoking.

I could use one of each right about now.

Later Taters.