Monday, October 26, 2009

It's A Big News Day in the Holler

The Big City television news was filming in Frog Pond Holler today. The big story?

We had actual traffic.

I reckon there was an eighty food wide rock slide over on I-40 yesterday, blocking both lanes. Luckily it happened in the middle of the night and no one was killed, but there were a few injuries as cars met rocks head on. The official detour takes travellers on a four lane path, but there's been a bunch taking the short cut from Scary Hillbilly Town through Frog Pond Holler.

There are 18 wheelers going by my house, on a road where truck traffic is prohibited. I predict the fire department will be scraping one up off the road before the night is over. I have to slow to almost a stop to take those switchback curves in Jolene. I'd hate to be in a big rig.

When I came home for lunch, I spotted the dweeby, creepy old man reporter from Big City at the side of the road. I had the pleasure of texting the Amazon to tell her he was right behind her, filming her butt in the Pump N' Go window.

She was not amused.

In other news...

The town entertainment committee has decided to have a haunted campground for the trick or treaters this year. I'm not sure how they're planning on making it creepy, but I wouldn't walk through there in broad daylight.

And how about we not hold the town Halloween festivities, with all the little children, where people have actually drowned, in the shadow of the rocky outcrop where the legendary Cherokee maiden, along with her lover, LEPT TO HER FREAKIN' DEATH. Oh yeah.. and some dumb white men who were GUTTED AND TOSSED TO THE RIVER BELOW for gawdsake by an ANGRY COUGAR said to be posessed by the spirit of the formerly mentioned Cherokee warrior.

I mean seriously people, REAL MOTHER FECKIN' BEARS come out of these woods and EAT PEOPLE and you want to send the little children in there... WITH CANDY????????

When I spot Yogi sitting at the side of the road in a pile of M&M and Smarties wrappers, pickin' Little Precious' princess fairy crown out of his teeth and wearing an orange, plastic pumpkin on his head, I'll say I told ya so.

And I'll try to get a picture.

Anywho.. as far as work goes, I'm pretty sure the crisis has passed. Oh and I must tell all ya'll how much I appreciate your words of wisdom and support. When you're walking around the house, trying to play it cool like everything's honky freakin' dorey, it's great to have webby friends to vent to.

I have the best readers on the innerwebs.

We'll talk again soon. Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters!

7 comments:

Travel said...

It is good to hear you are well. Stay away from the Rocks and the Bears.

DG

BetteJo said...

Kids, candy, ghosts of warriors and bears? Your neighborhood is so much more colorful than mine!!

kenju said...

It's no wonder you have good readers; you write one of the best!!

LindaN said...

hmm.. your place seems to be fed up with the kiddies *lol*

good it so far haven't happend anythng bad at work, hope it goes well

Anonymous said...

I need to travel from K-ville to A-ville Thursday and was thinking of driving through your fair city instead of going the interstate route north and back south again.

If you were making the trip, which would you choose? Google maps say the trip through Frog Pond Holler is 50 miles shorter and 30 minutes faster, but do you really have to go sloooow? It's been years since I made the trip on the state highway. I do remember curves.

Carole (the old AC)

Anonymous said...

I need to travel from K-ville to A-ville Thursday and was thinking of driving through your fair city instead of going the interstate route north and back south again.

If you were making the trip, which would you choose? Google maps say the trip through Frog Pond Holler is 50 miles shorter and 30 minutes faster, but do you really have to go sloooow? It's been years since I made the trip on the state highway. I do remember curves.

Carole (the old AC)

Mahala said...

Hey Carole! You only have to slow down through town, it's state hwy the rest of the way. You will have to watch for Hwy Patrol, but they're mainly looking for big trucks over 48 ft.