When Email Makes Me Smile

I'm always so gloom and doom about work, I thought I'd share a little of the lighter side of the Asylum.

I sent this email to Cutie Patootie, my egg salad hating former boss, after he told Lulu during a phone conversation that I was afraid of him.

Dear Patootie,

I beg your pardon, I do not have beady little eyes and I do not recall ever having quaked in your presence. You must be hallucinating or creating false memories again. Take your meds. Or better yet, you may be suffering from an egg salad deficiency.

P.S. I can't spell deficiency, please fight the urge to correct my spelling. It's quite annoying.

His response:

I don't usually correct spelling; that would be my counterpart across the
hall. If you would like me to, I will foward your email to him and let him
critique it. No charge! I can't believe you had the nerve to mention the
'E' word. That make's me want to mention the SN_KE word. Luckily I have the
self control not to bring that up again.

I couldn't let it go, so I followed up with:

Your "counterpart"? That sounds very... life-partnerish. I hope you and whoever that may be will be very happy together.

Oh and by the way, my "nerve" is boundless.

*snort*

After I sent that, I noticed the incorrect use of an apostrophe in his email and I felt it my duty to point it out:


P.S. Your apostrophe, used here:

"That make's me want to mention the SN_KE word."

is incorrect. "Make" is neither a possesive subject nor a contraction.

That's just FYI.

Thanks!

Can you tell it's a slow work day?

Patootie... being the snarky ass hunk o' man meat that he is.. after what must have been much thought.. sent the following:

Thank's for being so helpful, by the way, here are just a few of your favorite thing's!

SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL

You can see why they had to separate us at different facilities an hour apart. He was the best boss I ever had.

10 comments:

Editor @ the "Dew" said...

This will cheer you up!

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2008/05/must-list-fergu.html

Craig Ferguson doing some sort of White House dinner thing.

terri said...

That entire exchange reminds me of a lot of the emails that get passed back and forth in my office! Aren't they fun?

It's slow here today too. The group of people on the other side of my wall are quizzing each other on the military alphabet(?)

Mahala said...

Hey Idgie! The Fergburger always brings a smile to my face :) I watched the whole affair on C-SPAN live and grinned the whole time.

Don't you hate slow days terri? I'd rather be busy.

Bah said...

Is your ex-boss single? Because I think I love him.

Joy T. said...

*pushing commenter bah out of the way* Wow I think I'm in love with snarky ass hunk o' man meat ex-boss! Love the way he thinks LOL

Mahala said...

Alas, the Patootie is not single. He's married to a petite little blonde who has her own craft business, is pursuing a country music career, models and performs in commercials and the local theater group.

Couldn't you just hurl?

poopie said...

ACK at the petite little blonde. I bet Mr. Snark would enjoy a fling with a full figured woman like myself ;)

Mahala said...

Rumor has it that his first wife was a full figured woman and that secretly, it is his preference :)

Rachel said...

roflmao...I had a coworker that would IM me from her desk across the room. I'd be howling with laughter while she made comments to nobody--"what's Rachel laughing about? Geez, she's weird". Ah those were the days!

Honeysuckle Rose said...

Aww, he sounds like fun. Why is it that in general we have to work with people who aren't?

By the way, I have zapped another email to Craiggers about you in honor of my return to the blogosphere :=)