When Email Makes Me Smile

I'm always so gloom and doom about work, I thought I'd share a little of the lighter side of the Asylum.

I sent this email to Cutie Patootie, my egg salad hating former boss, after he told Lulu during a phone conversation that I was afraid of him.

Dear Patootie,

I beg your pardon, I do not have beady little eyes and I do not recall ever having quaked in your presence. You must be hallucinating or creating false memories again. Take your meds. Or better yet, you may be suffering from an egg salad deficiency.

P.S. I can't spell deficiency, please fight the urge to correct my spelling. It's quite annoying.

His response:

I don't usually correct spelling; that would be my counterpart across the
hall. If you would like me to, I will foward your email to him and let him
critique it. No charge! I can't believe you had the nerve to mention the
'E' word. That make's me want to mention the SN_KE word. Luckily I have the
self control not to bring that up again.

I couldn't let it go, so I followed up with:

Your "counterpart"? That sounds very... life-partnerish. I hope you and whoever that may be will be very happy together.

Oh and by the way, my "nerve" is boundless.

*snort*

After I sent that, I noticed the incorrect use of an apostrophe in his email and I felt it my duty to point it out:


P.S. Your apostrophe, used here:

"That make's me want to mention the SN_KE word."

is incorrect. "Make" is neither a possesive subject nor a contraction.

That's just FYI.

Thanks!

Can you tell it's a slow work day?

Patootie... being the snarky ass hunk o' man meat that he is.. after what must have been much thought.. sent the following:

Thank's for being so helpful, by the way, here are just a few of your favorite thing's!

SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL
LAS VEGAS IN JULY
SNAKE
KEYING PAYROLL

You can see why they had to separate us at different facilities an hour apart. He was the best boss I ever had.