Manic Monday

Thank goodness it's Monday!!

How's that for fake enthusiasm?

Hey, I gave it a shot.

I know some of ya'll have been concerned for my welfare, what with Psycho Wendel on the loose and my serious lack of posting lately. Everything's fine, I've just been too cranky to post without using repeated strings of four letter words. It's mainly because of the state of affairs here at the Cubicle Asylum.

It ain't pretty folks.

Last Thursday it all came to a head.. like a huge festering boil on the left ass cheek of the high school quarterback.

See, there's been this growing anymosity between the "that" side of the hall and "this" side of the hall. (Play Romper Room theme song here.) "They" control the thermostat, set up camp in "our" offices when we're not here, eating greasy diner food all over "our" desks, moving our things and not putting them back. But we take it. We're good little asylum residents.

That is.. until Thursday.

You see, Lulu is normally very mild mannered, the one who smoothes things over when I start threatening to insert assorted office equipment (sideways) into the orifices of the people across the hall. She is the one who forgives bad deeds, the voice of reason. But when Louise from across the hall, mouthed off at her the other day, something within Lulu snapped.

Oh Lawsy people, you've never seen such a spectacle. There were daggers shooting from her eyes, gnashing teeth and the machine-gun fire of accusations as Lulu rose from her desk like the fabled phoenix rising from the ashes. She was across the hall before I even had time to digest what was happening.

It was beautiful man.

She was all up in Louise's face, bringing up all the times we've caught her standing in the hall with her ear pressed to the wall, all the times she's interrogated us about our personal business then broadcast it all over town.

I never thought I'd see the day.

Thelma, Louise's counterpart was afraid. After it was over, she went running up and down the hall like Chicken Little spouting, "a meeting!!! we must have a meeting!!!" She then went back to our conference room, throwing the door open and interrupting the manager's daily, morning gathering saying, "We must have a meeting!!! They've nearly come to blows!! We need a meeting!!"

The whole thing had nothing to do with her, if anyone had a good reason to stick their nose in it, it would have been me. My name was getting tossed around during the argument like a hackey sack. It took every ounce of self control I had not to go in there and put my foot up someone's caboose.

But I didn't. I sat at my desk and minded my own business... sorta.

There were meetings during the aftermath. I could hear Lulu back there still giving them hell. I cheered her on silently. Thelma went over the PM's head and called the GM. She was trying to find someone who would do something to Lulu, but it just kept backfiring on her.

Beautiful.

Lulu's off the next two days. I came in this morning to hear Thelma and Louise both over there preaching to beat the band. "Oh the Lord came to me this weekend and he filled me with joy!! Nothing can bring me down!!"

Ya know, I wouldn't make fun if I thought for a second either of them had an ounce of kindness in their heart. They go to church only for what it does for them socially, how it appears to others and how they can use it to attract attention to themselves. There is no honesty in them.

More to follow..

Later Taters