Thank goodness it's Monday!!
How's that for fake enthusiasm?
Hey, I gave it a shot.
I know some of ya'll have been concerned for my welfare, what with Psycho Wendel on the loose and my serious lack of posting lately. Everything's fine, I've just been too cranky to post without using repeated strings of four letter words. It's mainly because of the state of affairs here at the Cubicle Asylum.
It ain't pretty folks.
Last Thursday it all came to a head.. like a huge festering boil on the left ass cheek of the high school quarterback.
See, there's been this growing anymosity between the "that" side of the hall and "this" side of the hall. (Play Romper Room theme song here.) "They" control the thermostat, set up camp in "our" offices when we're not here, eating greasy diner food all over "our" desks, moving our things and not putting them back. But we take it. We're good little asylum residents.
That is.. until Thursday.
You see, Lulu is normally very mild mannered, the one who smoothes things over when I start threatening to insert assorted office equipment (sideways) into the orifices of the people across the hall. She is the one who forgives bad deeds, the voice of reason. But when Louise from across the hall, mouthed off at her the other day, something within Lulu snapped.
Oh Lawsy people, you've never seen such a spectacle. There were daggers shooting from her eyes, gnashing teeth and the machine-gun fire of accusations as Lulu rose from her desk like the fabled phoenix rising from the ashes. She was across the hall before I even had time to digest what was happening.
It was beautiful man.
She was all up in Louise's face, bringing up all the times we've caught her standing in the hall with her ear pressed to the wall, all the times she's interrogated us about our personal business then broadcast it all over town.
I never thought I'd see the day.
Thelma, Louise's counterpart was afraid. After it was over, she went running up and down the hall like Chicken Little spouting, "a meeting!!! we must have a meeting!!!" She then went back to our conference room, throwing the door open and interrupting the manager's daily, morning gathering saying, "We must have a meeting!!! They've nearly come to blows!! We need a meeting!!"
The whole thing had nothing to do with her, if anyone had a good reason to stick their nose in it, it would have been me. My name was getting tossed around during the argument like a hackey sack. It took every ounce of self control I had not to go in there and put my foot up someone's caboose.
But I didn't. I sat at my desk and minded my own business... sorta.
There were meetings during the aftermath. I could hear Lulu back there still giving them hell. I cheered her on silently. Thelma went over the PM's head and called the GM. She was trying to find someone who would do something to Lulu, but it just kept backfiring on her.
Beautiful.
Lulu's off the next two days. I came in this morning to hear Thelma and Louise both over there preaching to beat the band. "Oh the Lord came to me this weekend and he filled me with joy!! Nothing can bring me down!!"
Ya know, I wouldn't make fun if I thought for a second either of them had an ounce of kindness in their heart. They go to church only for what it does for them socially, how it appears to others and how they can use it to attract attention to themselves. There is no honesty in them.
More to follow..
Later Taters
17 comments:
Wow. Truth really IS stranger than fiction! Sounds like quite an entertaining show.
It is good to hear from you, even if life in the crazy house is . . . well crazy.
DG
Glad you are back...and 'good luck' at work!
great story! very relieved to see you are alive!
cathy
I missed you! Have you ever read People of the Lie by Scott Peck? It talks about exactly that - people who preach for show. Actually, you'd probably enjoy that book. I bet that show would have made a great video!
it's only me, again.
just wanted to remind you to "sit back, relax and rub yourself with cocoa butter." there is fresh ferguson tonight!
didn't you just love "casual friday?"
I was getting quite concerned when I didn't hear from you.
I did have to laugh during this post though. I am in awe of your writing skills. You are blessed with talent my dear... pure talent.
Gag me with a spoon! That praising reminds me of Elmer Gantry. Oh, and I adore that description of the festering boil on the quarterback's butt. Priceless :)
What Poopie said!!
I *had* to read that outloud to my roomie, and there was giggling abound xD
Hoping the cubicle crazies haven't driven you into the hills....wait, maybe that would be fun. anyway. Check in.
Okay woman... waaaaayyy too much time between posts.
Check in with us, will ya please?
Hello? Earth to Mahala.....
Please let us know if you are still alive. DG
Give us a shout - people are worried!!!!
Mommy, I think you better post before there's an uproar in the Blog-o-sphere
A note to everyone: She has become addicted to Second Life XD Thus why there is so much time between her posts. Yes...she has become one of *those* people.
Just to let everyone know, I walked over and banged on her back porch door last night demanding to know what she thought she was doing, leaving us hanging around wondering what she was up to.
Mahala is fine, but as Amazon says, she's caught up in a new toy and hasn't gotten around to using the computer (which is also giving her some issues).
I'm sure we'll hear from her shortly.
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