What Goes Around

So, as ya'll know, I worked at The Cubicle Asylum for 20 years (and two months) and was proud to be the booty kicking Sales Ninja. We had several sales managers over the years, but no one stuck around for long, especially Gorilla Head.

Peppermint Twatwaffle went against my advice and hired the jerkwad sales rep, after I told her how crooked he was, repeatedly. He was on the payroll for 24 hours and fired after refusing to produce a social security card because he was trying to hide the fact that he was still employed by his Granddaddy's company, the one he'd been over for six months before sending it in to bankruptcy. 

I puttered along. I won new accounts, I increased orders, I busted my ass, all on a clerk's pay. My only request was that I not have to work in the hallway. I  blamed my assorted anxiety diagnosis's, but apparently, "over stimulation" is a symptom of fibromyalgia too. Regardless, I didn't think it was much to ask. There were empty offices all over the building.

Enter the Germans, who, against my advice, hired Gorilla Head again. I was faced with working for the man who had talked down to me and was a general asshole for the ten plus years that he was my Atlanta rep, then upon getting fired from The Asylum the first time, had called our corporate office to tell them that both me and TW were worthless, among other equally insulting comments. 

But I'm a trooper, I sucked it up. I tried to make it work. As soon as Gorilla Head found out about my anxiety problems, he went to Pillsbury Doughboy, the new GM, and had me moved back to the hallway

I (and several others) went to PD and HR about GH repeatedly, but I was belittled and spoken to like a trouble maker. On several occasions, I overheard GH and PD making fun of me. I was a big joke.

As a lifetime fat kid, this was nothing new to me. I could handle it.

After a family tragedy struck, leaving me pretty much useless, HR sent me home and approved my taking a week off (I used vacation time.) The morning I came back, I was fired. PD never said, "Sorry for your loss" or anything. 

A couple of weeks later, orders came down from Germany and GH was fired. I should probably mention that I emailed and spoke with Germany on a daily basis. We were tight.

Apparently, PD pitched a holy effin' fit over being told to fire GH and began his own personal downward spiral. 

The last time I spoke to Lulu, about a month after GH got the axe, HR had quit. HR was PD's right hand. He couldn't wipe his own dainty little doughy ass without her. I reckon she got tired of it. 

Are you with me so far?

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, Aunt Moses' grandson, TBBCWTLE's oldest, went to work at the plant. I had a source.

A couple of months ago, I think, hell even I'm confused at this point, Aunt Moses said PD had a melt down and had been taken to the nervous hospital. The evil, vindictive part of my soul wanted to call him and say, "WHO'S LAUGHING NOW MOTHER HUMPER?"

But that would have been really mean, if not enormously gratifying.

He was there for a while and as far as I know, never came back to work. 

So today I ran in to TBBCWTLE at the dollar store and we were standing around in the parking lot with our other cousin, who happens to be visiting from Norfolk, like a bunch of food stampin' system leeches, when she informs me that PD had "resigned." 

I may have laughed maniacally and woohooed like a big ol' obnoxious hillbilly.

But here's the kicker. Guess who they're considering to take his place?


Thank you Universe for sending me out of that place. It was a shock to my system at the time, but with every trickle of gossip that rolls down off that hilltop, I am truly grateful I don't have to deal with it anymore.