Cover Me. I'm Going In.

I stopped in town yesterday to ask RonRon the Leprechaun if he'd come check our plumbing. He did such a good job last time and I can't really afford a real plumber.

 I got out of the truck, worked up some courage and approached the scary looking bald-on-top, hair-to-his-waist-in-the-back redhead. "How are you today?" I asked.

He slowly turned, revealing a reddened, puffy face, eyes like slits and a snaggle toothed shit eatin' grin. He lifted his hands to the sky, spread his arms wide and turned his face toward the mountain. Either he was having a religious experience or he was totally roasted.

Maybe I'm being all Judgey McSnootypants but I'm pretty sure he was wasted.

I excused myself and left. I saw him again at lunch today, already nursing a beer, so I decided The Universe was trying to tell me to put on my big girl panties and fix it myself. I had myself worked up to it before I left the office, but then I stopped at the dolla store. Inside, the stench of raw sewage was wafting up and down the aisles. They're on my street. I bet it's everyone. By the time I got home, I'd convinced myself that:

  1. I'm too tired
  2. I already feel like crap on a cracker. I won't elaborate too much, I'll just say that at a certain age, the regularity of one's body's proof of it's ability to breed becomes a royal pain in the ass.
  3. #2 leads to #1
  4. It's too much to tackle after work. I can get T.A. to help me after she gets off at the library tomorrow.
There's a trap about four feet from the road. I have a 20 ft plumber snakey thing. I reckon I can just shove that mutha down there and crank it. If I hit something hard, I've got about 15 ft of black water pipe that T.A. bought to make hoola-hoops with. I can ram that in there too I guess.

Is there a flangey doohickey where our pipe feeds in to the main town line?

This is going to be ugly. I can feel it.

Pray for me. Burn some sage. Dance nekkid in the moonlight around a bonfire and chant whatever the hell you need to in my name.

Tomorrow.. I'm going in.

Later Taters!!!