And The Christmas Funk Settles In

It's break time in the Mahala house. The sink (and surrounding area) is full of dishes, the kitchen table is still full of crafty bits and there is still a dresser sitting in the middle of my boudoir.

And here I sit, surrounded by snoring old man dogs, a curtain rod and some left over plastic canvas.

I am pooped.

I did hang my new curtains. I treated myself for my birthday. They did not come from Goodwill. They were not on sale. They weren't even on CLEARANCE. I paid full price and got what I wanted. Okay so.. I did take a left over valance and cut it up to make tie backs..

They're all fancy shmancy.

I've accomplished a few other things since I've been off. I redid the hardware on the bunny thing, installed the locks and even color coded the keys.. because I'm paranoid that way. I've hauled some bags of trash out of the house. Ma saved every light bill, phone bill... EVERY DAMNED THING.. that she ever got in the mail.


And I hate to toss it out. There is a part of my brain that says, "but.. you might need this years from now..better keep it!" although I know there is absofuckinlutely no reason why I'd need the phone bill from June of 2003. I know that's the part of my brain that simply proves I'm my mother's daughter. I take a deep breath (not too deep, I've stirred up some serious dust) and toss it in the bag. Then I try to not think about it and tackle the next pile.

I still need to go through the dresser. It's the last one. I dread it. Old make up, half used bottles of perfume, pictures of her old boyfriends. I open the drawer and it smells like her and it kills me. I mean, it's not like she's dead, she's an hour away and I'll see her tomorrow... but it's not really her. It's not the same person that used to get all dolled up and party at the VFW on Saturday nights or who used to cook dinner for anyone who'd show up every Sunday.

I dunno.. it's just weird.

Maybe it's just the holidays catching up with me.

Tomorrow's my last day off from The Asylum. My intention is to get up early and head to Big City for a few more little things for Christmas, including a tree, visit Ma and pick up some groceries.

We'll see.

Break's almost over. I'd better get back to it. Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters!!


kenju said...

After my mom died and I started to clean out her dresser and chest of drawers, they had that distinctive smell that each person has (I suppose). It was such a sad time and those smells bothered me. I have all of her old towels and my linen closet smells like hers did. It is a comfort, somehow. I hope you have a good visit with her tomorrow.

poopie said...

big hugs you more than you know ^j^

Celia said...

I kept several empty bottles of White Shoulders that belonged to my Mom who couldn't throw out anything and labeled and dated it all. My Dad gave her some every Christmas and the smell reminds me of them both. I finally shared the extras with my sisters. Apparently, I, like my mother, felt I needed them all. Hooha!

Anonymous said...

It's hard when your parent is still living, but you feel that they are no longer with you. My mom is only a 4 hour drive away, but I miss seeing her everyday. My dad has been gone for over 40 years, but I still recognize Old Spice aftershave and instantly think of him when I smell it. Growing up was hard, but no one warned us just how hard it would get. The holidays always get to me and seems like this year is worse. Deep breaths and try to enjoy what time off you have. It's ok to enjoy yourself.