Meanwhile, Back at The Asylum..

About a year ago, when PG retired, Peppermint Patty was hired to take his place. I haven't said much about her because I'm trying to be a better person and stop bad mouthing people, but damn.. that sure does put a damper on the blog fodder.

Peppermint Patty is my age, grandmother of two, has short, sassy red hair and likes to wear skirts cut clear up to her hooha.

Not exactly factory attire and not a great way to earn points among the frumpy peons who shop at the Goodwill.

She's one of those people that, while talking to you, will be checking her reflection in the window beside you and fussing with her hair. She also touches her bewbs.. patting and adjusting them constantly. Not to be mean but... well.. they are not large, wildly flopping bewbs. I'm quite sure they don't move and are not affected by gravity in the least. 

Just sayin'.

Her reputation beat her to The Asylum. She'd worked at two other plants in our little family of factories before landing a job here and I think everyone she'd ever pissed off called us before her start date, weaving tales of lurid affairs with other people's bubbahubbies, secret trysts after hours in conference rooms, back stabbing lies...

Did I heed their warnings? Well of course not. That would have been the sensible thing to do, therefore it did not occur to me AT ALL. No.. I scootched right up to her (metaphorically speaking) and told her my life story. "Bless her heart," I thought. "No one likes her, she's been lied on, she needs a friend."

It didn't take long for me to do what Lulu did from the get go and develop a wide berth between Patty and I. Lawd have mercy. Ya'll think I have issues. Ya'll don't even KNOW what kinda issues are just oozin' out of Patty. I did discover, however, that her maiden name is the same as my Mamaw's, her family is from the same remote mountain area that hers was AND her bubbahubby shares the same sir name as both my Mamaw AND my Papaw's mother's maiden name.

I'll give you a minute to get that all straight in your head.

Now you realize why I'm just thankful I can walk upright.


So me and Peppermint Patty are ALL KINDS of related, but I don't know exactly where because she doesn't want to discuss her family tree. I think maybe her family is a little.. ya know.. in denial about the whole "not as white as you think you are" issue.

I try to keep my mouth shut at work, but for some of us ( ♫ if you're crazy and you know it shake your meds ♫) that's kinda hard. When she's running around flashing her lady parts and groping her girls, then turns the ac off because she's cold, I have been known to go in to Lulu's office and angrily suggest that if Peppermint Patty would put some damned clothes on she wouldn't get so cold, which cracks Lulu up because she's always freezing and sitting at her desk in gloves and earmuffs while me, Thelma and the GM's secretary are trying to figure out what to strip off next.

The other day, we all got called to the cafeteria (a room with some tables, a 1950's fridge and some snack machines) for a meeting. We knew something was up when we heard Thelma page the GM three times. That's code for "The CEO is on the phone and he doesn't care if you're taking a massive dump, you'd better pick up the phone." We all figured that we were either going on low work (hours cut) or getting shut down. It was neither of those things. Someone had sent a fax to the CEO's email (that's a complicated maneuver for most of our staff, greatly narrowing down the possible list of culprits,) wanting to know why they won't get anything fixed, with a list of all needed repairs and why they won't purchase new equipment, making the peons work on unsafe, outdated crap while they all sit up at corporate and count their money. (I may have paraphrased a touch, but you get the gist of it.)  There was a lot of blah blah bullcrap blah blah blowing-smoke-up-your-keister blah blah from the GM.

It was really hot in the cafeteria, someone had been monkeying with the thermostat. When the GM asked if there were any questions, one of the guys from out in the plant raised his hand. We all were expecting a detailed confession and a possible public butt reaming. He said, with much confidence and determination, "Sir, for the love-a-gawd, would you please tell Patty to put some damned clothes on, she's burning us all up in here."

I may have hollered I laughed so loud, which was probably not a smooth move on my part, but I couldn't help it.

Patty's pursed lips and blood red face were evidence that she was not pleased.

That was three days ago. When I left yesterday, Patty was still both embarrassed and pissed off. And I may bring it up every time I see her.. because sometimes I'm a bitch that way.

On Wednesday, we were all individually called by our supervisors and informed we were going on low work. Until further notice, I'm off on Fridays now, working 32 hours a week. A sane person would probably be all "OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!" but honest to God, I was relieved. I am so burnt out on that place I don't even care. It'll just give me more time to work on other things. And it's one more day without Bossholio.


Ya'll have a good one. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!

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BetteJo said...

You know it's bad when a GUY asks a woman to put more clothes on! I would have guffawed too!

tiff said...

Bwuahahaha!!! Well done on the plant guy. Tell the truth, always.