They Took Away My Martha Stewart Merit Badge

If you follow me on Facebook, then you know I spent the morning bragging about my awesome bread making accomplishments, including my first attempt at rolls on which to enjoy our awesome homemade black bean burgers.

I sounded just like one of those happy housewife mommy bloggers. I may have even said, "I can't wait to see how they turn out!"

Most people who have ever operated an oven.. IN THEIR LIFE.. especially at my age.. would realize that you don't leave buns in the oven as long as a loaf of bread. Of course, this did not occur to me until after the smell of smoke wafted from the kitchen into the living room, and if any of you have ever lived in a single wide trailer before, you'll know that they're sorta kinda the same room anyway so I really have no effin' excuse whatsoever.

I sent The Amazon this Googley message after I took them out to cool:

5:31 PM
I tried to make burger rolls. There will be no laughter when you get home or I shall pelt you with them. And by God.. it will hurt like a mutha fucker

Which she read on her break, because she works at an intense, high security level establishment and isn't allowed to have her phone inside.

The Amazon
7:05 PM
Lawls! I love you

7:06 PM
On the other hand, we have ammo for that zombie apocalypse

The Amazon
7:06 PM

I know what ya'll are waiting for. You want to see pictures of the domestic baking catastrophe. How about.. I show you pictures of the yucky old metal cabinet I redid? The church people who put in our new floors tried to toss it out and buy us a new one, but The Amazon protested. I like to redo old things more than I like new things, because I'm weird that way, especially when it comes to furniture. I wasn't here for the exchange, but I'm pretty sure it sounded like an episode of Hoarders.

Here's how it looked before:

I spray painted the cabinet white, then used chalk board paint on the outside of the doors. It used to hide in the hallway, stuffed with all The Amazon's old school books. Now it's in the kitchen, packed with flour, corn meal, oats, spices and assorted critter foods.

Here it is after my makeover:

It doesn't look that smeary in person. Promise.

Please excuse the Ayla butt. It seems to show up everywhere. Anywho, now when we are out of something, we can write it on the cabinet and the next time one of is out somewhere and pick up something we need, it just gets wiped off when we get home. Me and The Amazon pass like strangers in the night sometimes and it's hard to keep up with what we need. I usually keep a long "dollar store" list for Saturdays. Instead of stopping all during the week, I make a list and go on Saturday so I can use my $5 off $25 coupon. From the looks of the list, I think I probably have my 25 bucks worth.

I know.. you don't really CARE about my cabinet.

Okay fine.

I give you....


You are welcome.
Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters!

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kenju said...

Keep the rolls to throw at random critters that show up in your yard!! LOL They won't come back.

The cabinet looks good. I have 3 metal cabinets in my garage and they could use a makeover. It's good to know it can turn out well.

tiff said...

Cabinet makeover = win!

I LOVE that you posted a picture of the deadly zombie balls.

Tonya said...

Those rolls come close to me metorite meatloaf. It was born from trying to cook meatloaf in a microwave (this was years ago before all the fancy ones came out that will let you do that). That meatloaf actually cracked concrete. It was deadly. Good to know I am not the only person that can make my own ammo.

rennratt said...

My biscuits look a lot like that.

You get an A+ on the cabinet makeover, though.

Teressa Welch said...

LOVE the chalkboard paint on the door! Sure beats those dry-erase boards! GO, you!

And you can always sell your culinary disasters to the military...just make sure it's on *our* side!