Monday, August 13, 2012

T.G.I.M.

That's right, I said it. Thank God It's Monday. I've barely had a chance to sit down since I left The Cubicle Asylum on Friday and my ass cheeks are aflame from spending the past weekend doing the squat-heave-ho in an attempt to move furniture by myself.

Thank God for cushy office chairs.

In my ongoing search for ways to save pennies and.. ya know.. keep the electricity on.. I successfully made a batch of bread on Friday night.

Please excuse the crappy phone pic. And the light has stopped working on that side of the kitchen.  Heckameknow why. No it's not the lightbulb.

I tried to slice the wonky loaf on the left, only to end up with some mushy wads of bread like matter, which The Amazon graciously scraped together to make her lunch sandwiches for a few days. The second loaf, which sat in the freezer a bit, sliced much easier and will probably last the rest of the week. I actually could have bought two loves of bread at the dollar store for what I spent to make one of those loaves. I forgot to buy the bulk yeast at the hippy store (Greenlife, a division of Whole Foods, over in Big City) so I had to buy the over priced stuff in the little envelopes here in the holler. Hey.. we live and learn.. right?

Saturday was spent mostly going through one of Ma's old dressers. It contained very little clothing and a pile of old bills and crap. I've started a system of three piles.. donation, trash and keep. Mebbe I've watched too much Hoarders on the bewb tube. It actually works pretty well, I got the dresser cleaned out and pushed out onto the porch for the time being.

You might be a redneck.

I finally got a spot cleaned out big enough for my bed, so I put it together on Saturday too. Only, the frame I bought the other day isn't a queen sized frame, so the box spring and mattress are just sitting on top of it. It's not like I'm going to be bumping uglies with Prince Charming anytime soon, so as long as Pupzilla doesn't decide to take a flying leap onto it like she's in the WWE, it should be okay. We have two full size frames in the house other than that one. T.A. has plans to give one to Boy Wonder, so in the meantime maybe I can check to see if either of those expand to queen size and pull a little switcheroo.

For the record, the mattress wallered me to death as I tried to push it up the ramp to the house. Thank God I don't have any close neighbors.

Yesterday I got my new puter mostly set up. I still need to install the printer driver and I have to do a uninstall and reinstall of the graphics chipset drivers before Secondlife will work (priorities, yo) but other than that, it's ready to go. Making all those trips out to the RV, crawling around in the floorboard to unhook cords and cables and whatnot, all in the 15 billion degree heat had me wheezing like an asthmatic cow, drenched in sweat and emitting an aroma that was so not spring time fresh.

But I Got-er-dun. Eventually.

By the time bedtime rolled around, I was pretty sure I was about to up and die. Every inch of my body hurt, I had a screaming headache.. the kind that makes think if you could puke you'd feel better, but you never do.  I laid on the bed, soaking up the ac, with the Boston Baked Beagle scootched up to my butt, the Chihuahuaranian on my feet and Pupzilla in the floor, sleeping with her head stuck under the bed skirt.

Pupzilla just ain't right ya'll.

I'd been looking forward all day to the season finale of Longmire and I had my comfy bed and my t.v. hooked up so I could rest my weary bones and enjoy the cowboy sexiness. I inhaled a combination of ibuprofen and acetaminophen to head off my headache and settled in. Life was good.

Just as I started getting into my t.v. show, I realized a familiar sound. The toilet was running. The hickey must have been stuck. I really didn't want to get up to go jiggle the handle, which is what you do, so I tried to ignore the sound.

For the record? That is a very bad plan.

When the next commercial came on, I got up and started towards the bathroom. I noticed my headache had eased off considerably. Until I stepped in the puddle on the rug. I thought someone had peed in the floor, sighed heavily and walked through the door. The water was over the top of my foot and rushing down into the heat vent.

What. The. Eff.

Lola's (doorless) crate, thankfully sits on a bit of a ledge where the shower was originally. She was dancing around on the edge like, "OMG BUILD AN ARK!" I reached in and I shit-you-not touched the toilet and it stopped. There was an inch of standing water.

I mopped, I scooped, I used up all the towels and finally resorted to tossing sheets and bedspreads in to try to sop up the water. I swear to heck, if a hole develops in the floor I will say the hell with it and dig a latrine in the back yard and just start using that.

I finally got to lay back down around midnight.

Yes, I was thankful to come to work this morning. My chair is comfy. Nothing leaks. And there's free coffee.

Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters!!

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That water issue sucks. We had a water pipe under our house leaking and didn't know until we happened to notice the dogs coming in damp. The water was high enough to start running out into the dirt. After a $500 plumber bill and at $250 water bill, it's finally fixed. And under the house is starting to dry out. Thank goodness I didn't have any inside. I sure hope that is the end of your late nite mop ups. But just in case maybe you should consider putting floaties on the bottom of the bunny cage.

kenju said...

Mahala, I swear that if you had no bad luck, you'd have no luck at all - as they used to say on Hee Haw. I am so sorry about all the water. Last time that happened to me, I just cried.

BetteJo said...

Sometimes you have to take comfort where you can.

Sweet Sassyfats said...

Mahala,

I'm a long-time lurker. I just had to break the silence this time to reach out and let you know that you could totally be my cousin. I even read your blog in my cousin's voice. Not out loud. Just in my head. I'm not a COMPLETE weirdo. Thank you for sharing your mishaps in a way that make me smile. I hope your week gets better.