Social Behavior and I'd Like to Kick the FDA in the Shins

Tattered Mare's Shabby Nail Repair Oil


Lord ya'll. I've been so busy with mixing magic potions, folding boxes and ... you won't believe this... BEING SOCIAL.. that I don't even know where to begin. 

I met up with one of my favorite bloggers Thursday night. Miss Tiff of No Accent Yet ventured into the holler with hubby and Things 1 and 2. We met at the diner for dindin and grand conversation ensued. It's been so long since I had a chance to talk to someone from civilization, I was positively giddy. Most of the face to face social interaction I get these days consists of me telling Ma to put some pants on. 

Hateful McGrumpybritches was our waitress. If she ever cracked a smile, I suspect it would come as such a shock to her system that she'd promptly wet herself. When we first moved to the holler, umpteenzillion years ago, we rented a house from McGrumpybritches' mom. Her mom was the sweetest little old thing and took great joy in letting The little Amazon follow her down to the chicken house to "pick eggs." When her daughter would come around and glare at us from across the pasture, with a look that made your blood run cold,  all she could say was, "she's kinda quar." 

That's hilltalk for odd, strange or unusual. It was also an understatement.

Usually, the Grab N' Go (and go and go) makes me kinda antsy. It's rare that I ever go inside and eat. But I wasn't the least bit nervous meeting Miss Tiff and her clan and I was perfectly at ease on the back porch, chatting away, watching the storm blow in. It wasn't until we got up to leave that I had to excuse myself and wait outside. The diner's owner's daughter pulled around back and eyed one of the Things. I reckon he was too close to one of the blinds. He may have touched it, I'm not sure, but Miss "My Mom Owns the Diner and My Poot Smells Like Magnolias" LEPT from her truck like friggen BO DUKE and showed her hind end. 

Okay not literally showed it. It's a southern thang.. meaning she got her bloomers in a wad and set to carrying on and drawing attention to herself. 

There are some really warm, welcoming, beautiful people in Frog Pond Holler, but we also have our share of butt monkeys. 

After dinner, I gave the Tiff Clan the grand tour of the holler, then set out to show them some beautiful scenery at a campground that turned out to be way farther back in the woods on a gravel road than I remembered. 

The Tiff and her clan are awesome. I can't wait to see them again someday.

Over the weekend I bottled up my super awesometastic nail repair oil and got it listed in my shop. I've already sold two bottles!! You can get your own here. Yes, I realize I totally sound like a snaggle-toothed old Gypsy woman selling snake oil off the back of her wagon. 

I also spent a big chunk of my weekend trying to fold origami gift boxes to the right size to fit the oil bottles. That was a few hours of my life I'll never get back. I found a template for pillow boxes instead. I suppose I must be more of a "taper" than a "folder." 

I've got several pairs of earrings started that I wanted to finish, but I've been without colchicine now for like three weeks. My hands are going all lobster claw and my right hip protests everytime I try to move in my sleep. I'm getting a little irritated. 

I finally found a phone number for the manufacturer early last week. I called and was told they didn't have all my paperwork, but that they could take the information down over the phone. Why in the hell they didn't CALL me or EMAIL me to tell me this, I don't know, but I have copies of everything I sent them and according to my records, I sent them all the forms. Apparently someone either misplaced them or used them to line their hamster cage or somechit. But anywho.. I gave her the information and she assured me that I should receive my medication in 7-10 days. She said it would be mailed directly to me, not the doctor's office and that I'd receive a call when it was mailed. 

I have not received any phone calls. It has been 7 days. 

SMOOTH MOVE FDA. WAY TO GO. 

Here at the asylum, our new plant manager seems to be of the giggly, "oh silly me, I'm just a girl" type. And kinda ditzy. 

I think I'll just keep my distance. 

Back at the trailer, The Amazon's Blazer is gone to crap again. I hope she's able to get it fixed today. My flaming hip isn't going to be too eager to hump it all the way home. 

But anyways, that's the latest in the holler. I hope all ya'll have a good week. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!


Update: My colchicine came in the mail today. Hoo-rah! Over $500 worth of drugs.. free. Yay. 
Update 2: I Have no idea wtf happened to my font. 



6 comments:

tiff said...

We think you are awesome too, and not at all axe-murdery. Loved seeing the Holler and meeting you!

Anonymous said...

Just watch out for the giggling girl act. At some point in time she will drop that for the super bitch persona and then it will be hell on wheels. LOL I have worked for that kind before. They can be sneeky. But you know she didn't get where she is by being all "I'm just a silly girl" So watch you back. And I can't wait to get my nail oil. Just like a kid waiting on santa. (I know, I have a sad life, you don't have to tell me. But hey we all got have something to get excited about.)

Mahala said...

tiff: Next time? I'm totally paying some snaggletoothed hillfolk to jump out of the bushes.

Tonya: If you could see how excited I got when you bought your nail oil, you'd totally realize you're not alone lol.

Anonymous said...

As long as we don't start peeing a little from the excitement we are all good. LOL

Significant Snail said...

OMG, Mahala - I sure do love you! No, not in the I-want- to-marry-you way...I prefer men. Sorry. But I love you in the Oh-My-God-You're-Awesome-and-Your Writing-is-Spectacular kind of way. Sorry about the FDA bs...guess they gotta protect somebody's monetary interest. The others need to make a two ingredient pill...with a vitamin as a second ingredient..or something...Anyway, glad you got your medicine!

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