Hot Gossip in The Holler

It's cloudy and cool in the holler this morning. The skies are dark and ominous, teasing us with the promise of an atmospheric disruption of some kind before the day is done.

Just the way I like it.

The turmoil isn't just in the sky over the holler, the townsfolk are all stirred up, with tongues waggin' wildly over the latest Frog Pond Holler gossip, involving Shannon, one of only two tellers down at the bank.

I've always felt sort of connected to Shannon, in a weird sort of trailer trash way. Not only do we share the same Rubenesque figure, but she favors most of the women on Ma's side of the family with jet black hair and fair skin.Which is weird, because Shannon was almost my sister.

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but for Ma, getting pregnant was a nightmare. She was on fertility drugs for five years before she had me, had multiple miscarriages and used to be quick to point out, "and look what I got stuck with."

But anywho...

When Shannon's mother was pregnant with her, her family encouraged her to put the baby up for adoption and word traveled back to Norfolk, via the family news/gossip pipeline, sending Ma and that asshole pervert she was married to and Pa back home to the holler to see if they could get themselves a youngin. But bringing home baby Shannon just wasn't in the cards for them I reckon, because her Mama changed her mind and decided to keep her.

I have no idea if Shannon knows any of this and it's not the kind of thing you wanna bring up while you're standing in line at the bank.

Anywho, last Friday, Shannon packed up all her stuff at quitting time, exchanged tear filled goodbyes with Jeraldine, the other teller, and took off for Georgia to meet up with some man she met on the internet.

That alone would be scandalous enough if it weren't for the fact that Shannon leaves behind bubbahubby #4 and FIVE youngins.

Hellfire and damnation, if I had five youngins I'd be runnin' off with someone too. Or without someone. I'd just be runnin' like hell. Off a cliff.

In other news...

The black plague of death, mucus and coughing so hard you pee yourself crud has made a second round at the Asylum. This place sounds like the TB ward at the sanitarium. You have to keep your head low, lest you be accosted with a can of Lysol.

I'm so sick of snot and phlegm.

Oh and? The doc's nurse called me yesterday. It's now official. I have diabetes. I get to go back next Tuesday to get lectured on being old and fat figure out what "we" are going to do. I see a future filled with Glucerna shakes and water bottles.

It's coming off and no one's cutting me open to do it.. which will probably be a fight between me and the good doc, but I stand firm on that point.

Soooo yeah. That's the current state of Mahala and The Holler. I'm sure we'll talk more soon. Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters!


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