Wednesday, October 13, 2010

It's a Jerry Springer Kinda Life

A Walk Around the Holler 006

I've been home with Ma for the past two days. Ya'll won't believe I'm saying this but, it sure is good to be back at work.

The crazy train came to complete stop at our house late Sunday night. I got up around 3 to put Ayla outside because she wouldn't shut up and found The Amazon sitting on the couch with her head in her hands and Ma at the kitchen table with a bad case of the crazy eye, looking very pissed off. The police chief had just left, with Thelma's husband in tow. Ma had called them to say there was a prowler in the house. T.A. woke up to the police chief at her bedroom door and a flashlight shining in her face.

Apparently I slept through the whole thing.

Ma had greeted them at the door carrying a big butcher knife, took scissors to a five dollar bill and pointed them in the direction of my room when asked where the prowler was.

What if I'd heard them and decided to come strolling out of there half naked, being led by a very hyper Pupzilla?

There would have been carnage ya'll, complete with the spraying of assorted bodily fluids.

We finally talked her in to a doctor's visit Monday, but we only saw the twerpy little snarkassed P.A. I tried as best I could to tell him that she's crazy as hell but he insisted she probably just had a UTI and gave her antibiotics.

Of course, now she's way better, so Twerpysnarkass was right, as far as the seeing gorillas and turkeys and me sleeping with everyone in town goes. But unless she's had a flaming UTI for the past 30 years, there are still issues that need to be addressed.

They did some blood tests yesterday. We're supposed to have the results back tomorrow. In the mean time, T.A. bought one of those little pill dividers and we've taken over making sure she takes what she's supposed to. Sometimes she wakes up and thinks it's a new day and takes all her drugs all over again, which may be a big chunk of her problem.

Anywho... that's my week so far.

The work isn't piled up too bad here at The Asylum. Thelma and Bossholio kept my orders caught up and all I have to deal with is the aftermath. For this I am thankful.

It's nice to start the work week with Humpday. I'm entirely too tired to hump any damn thing, so let's just take it easy and put it on cruise control. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!


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3 comments:

tiff said...

Dang.

b.fez said...

wow... yeah... what Tiff said.

Mahala, I take care of my mom too. She's 87 and still lives alone, but has a variety of narcissistic crazy all her own. My mom can create drama that draws children and grandchildren from across the globe. She's something. For sure.

But your mom... your mom has got her beat, hands down. And that makes YOU a SAINT!

You are a good daughter. Don't ever forget that.

BetteJo said...

I don't get the UTI thing but that's when my mom called from the nursing home telling me they were trying to kill her there. Makes some folks nuts!
She's lucky she has you. Oh, I've been known to sleep through a lot but never the cops! You have me beat.