I Am a Domestic Goddess

The heat and humidity in the holler today will suck the life right out of you, luckily I've got the ac set on "Arctic Northern Winter." It would freeze the balls off a polar bear in here.

I've never actually seen the size of polar bear balls, but I'm sure they're large and in charge.

The television is blaring tunes from satellite pop radio, the dishwasher is running and I've hauled three bags of trash as far as the front porch, with hopes that The Amazon will take the hint and take them to the cans by the curb before a bear or coyote catches a big whiff of them. Not that they can't smell them in the can, I'm just not fond of the idea of walking out on the porch to face Big Bertha Black Bear and her cubs.

I don't wanna die.

I worked nine hours yesterday, came home, brushed my hair, fed the dogs and turned right around and left for the nail salon. It's a new place so it was sort of slow and quiet. They had an Eagles DVD playing on the two big flat screens and the little guy who was doing nails was amazed that all three of his customers were moving their lips along with Glenn Frey and knew the words to every song.

After getting my sausage fingers morphed in to divalicious porn stars, I went to the World O' Wally for groceries. By the time I got home, got stuff put away and threw a Wally's Special pizza in the general vicinity of the oven, sat down and put my feet up, it was around ten. I don't remember much after that.

When I opened the microwave to nuke my oatmeal this morning (I'm not on a health food kick, there just weren't any clean forks or frying pans) I found two severely charred wieners in what had been a plastic wrapped four pack. Ma, apparently, has been practicing her cooking skills. Sooo yeah, I'll be scrubbing that little mishap for the next project on my list.

Ya'll have a killer weekend, we'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!


tiff said...

porn star nails are maybe worth missing dinner for.

Anonymous said...

This heat and humidity is killer. I just put in the 3rd window unit A/C unit which so completely "white Trashed" up my house. The neighbors lurv me to death. hahahaha.