The Black Plague: Part 2

It's a beautiful warm, spring day in Frog Pond Holler. The birds are singing, a gentle breeze is bending branches towards the earth and big, fluffy, white clouds are moving slowly across the sky.

But I'm not enjoying it. No. I'm stricken with a relapse of the Black Plague of Death, because apparently, I've done some really bad crap in a past life, like torturing kittens or kicking baby pandas. Seriously, why else would I be sitting here in various stages of undress with my hair up, rockin' the Pebbles look because it's so dang hot up in this trailer that I'm threatening to turn the ac on in MARCH? My head feels like a garden gnome, hell bent on revenge after some stuff I may have written about them in the past, snuck in my bedroom in the dead of night and poured concrete in every orifice of my head. There are crusty deposits of varying color and consistency constantly forming in my eyes, regardless of how many times I pick them out.

I'm not even sure if it's really that hot in here. I could be delirious with fever or having a hormonally driven power surge.

And the coughing...good googedy moogedy... I think I've pulled every muscle in my body hacking up various bodily fluids, not to mention the other bodily fluids that try to sneak out when I'm in the throws of trying to hock up a lung.

Oh and?

The Amazon has it now too. Our house sounds like the emphysema ward at the county hospital.

After spending most of last night sitting on the edge of the bed, shoving tissues up my nostrils and wrestling my bag of wintergreen cough drops out of Ayla's mouth, I said the hell with it this morning and called in sick.

I used to sit and wring my hands with guilt for the whole day if I called in sick, but not anymore. Bossman makes it easy for me to cop an attitude. It didn't bother me at all to make the decision to keep my butt at home today.

Anywho, I'm involved in heated negotiations with T.A.. at the moment. We're trying to figure out who is less sick and least likely to die if they put some clothes on and make the trek to the dollar store for provisions.   I think I'm winning.

I'm sure we'll talk again soon. Ya'll take care. I'll be passed out somewhere in an antihistamine induced coma.

Later Taters!!


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4 comments:

Teressa Flye said...

Oh you poor things! I have no miracle cures to offer, I'm afraid, just plenty of good wishes and sympathy.

Proud of you for calling in sick. The only good thing about you going in sick would be if you could share your crud with Boss Hawg.

And where the hell did you find a photo of my ex husband's 2nd wife?! lol Looks just like her.

Hugs to all! Feel better soon *hugs*

Inanna said...

Yikes! Feel better soon! You still make me laugh though. Kicking baby pandas... I gotta use that one.

BetteJo said...

I sure hope you won because even if you are both equally sick - you feel worse cause you're older. Bet TA doesn't pee when she coughs. Gotta use it to your advantage when you can!

BetteJo said...

"IT" being age, not pee.