Eddie Izzard's Toe and Craving Kibble

In case ya'll were wondering, I didn't die over the weekend. I was up to my eyeballs in HTML and CSS and ImageReady and a bunch of other crap I don't understand. It took me the better part of the weekend to do what it would have taken a trained professional about two hours, but by golly I got 'er done.

I think I'm finally over my head crud.. at least the sinussy-snot churning part. My gums are inflamed again and I'm pretty sure I've got a raging infection on the left side. The last time this happened, I was just getting over a nice little sinus infection too. In the meantime, I learned from the P.A. at Dr. Sexypants office that gum inflamation is just one more goody you get with FMF.

The fun never ends.

I'm not going to bother calling the doc for a prescription, I've already proven that's a waste of time, but I've got almost a whole bottle of leftover Cipro. I'm not going to tell who's ailment it's left over from, but I will say that if I have a sudden urge to lick myself in public or howl at passing sirens, I'll stop taking it.

Welcome to healthcare in America.

Don't look at me like that. I already had to take off last week for Dr. Sexypants, time off I was asked to explain to the powers that be here at the Asylum and I have to leave early tomorrow for my noggin doc appointment. I can just see me telling Bossman I have to leave AGAIN.

My trashy big boobed cousin with the lazy eye sent her youngin over to borrow some crazy pills from Ma over the weekend. She'd let herself run out and all the kinfolk were in a panic that she'd go off batshit crazy and try to run over her New York hubby with the riding lawn mower.

Ya'll think I'm exaggerating.. but this is the same cousin who killed a 4.5 foot long yellow rattler.. throwing rocks at it. She's got a whole 'nother level of crazy goin' on in her attic.

I find it amusing that the whole damn family is now medicated for crazy. They must be handing that stuff out down at the Hee-Haw clinic like Halloween candy.

Back at the trailer, much of the conversation between the Amazon and myself has centered around the state of Eddie Izzard's toe. It's not unusual to hear:

The Amazon: "Is that your phone? Who's texting you?"

Me: "Oh.. must be Eddie. He's on his umpteenthjillion marathon to raise money for the under privledged."

The Amazon: "Still? Any news on the toe?"

Me: "Awwwww.. no.. but look, he's rescued a kitten!"

The Amazon: "But how's the toe? If he's going to share, he needs to keep us informed."

Me: "I'll ask."

Of course.. Eddie has more followers than anyone in the universe, so I'm sure any replies I send are in vain, but a girl has to dream.. right?

I've lost track of which marathon he's on and if I had the money, I'd sponsor him.. but ya'll know I'm a broke mother effer, so I'm asking ya'll to please send the Izzman some sponsorship money because he's running his little legs off. And seriously... he'll probably never be able to stand up again by the time he gets done. Hell, I'm worn out just hearing about it.

And now, because I always bring you the information you just can't get anywhere else, I give you Eddie Izzard's funkified, grossed out, oozy little toe:

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Also? Tickets go on sale today for Eddie's mini U.S. tour, Stripped Too. I can't go, but ya'll can! Tell him I sent you. Ask to see his toe. Touch it.. it has magical powers.

And with that I'll get back to work. Bossman is especially pissy today and I'd hate to have to chest punch him with the uber stapler.

Ya'll have a great Monday. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!