Saturday, July 18, 2009

Invasion Of The Kinfolk

It's a little cloudy in Frog Pond Holler today. It makes me a little nervous because all the kinfolk are gathering down at Moe Ray's picnic area for a family pow wow and if it gets rained out, I worry they'll all invade the tiny trailer and I'll have to take an extra nerve pill.

The Amazon was assigned the duty of making tater salad, the supplies for which were left in a plastic bag on the front porch at the butt crack of dawn.

Seriously... who gets up that early on a Saturday?

Oh yeah.. people who don't have to go to real jobs the rest of the week.

*cough*

I don't plan to join the festivities. If I took enough medication to be able to deal with Uncle Mullet (and the mini Mullets.. and their children,) my trashy big boobed cousin with the lazy eye, her new NY hubby.. well... you get the idea.. I'd be unconscious for a month. Although I'm helping with the tater salad and some deviled eggs, I intend to hide out here for the duration. Just the thought of being around them all gives me the heebeejeebies.

And honestly? While I do joke at their expense.. often.. it's really not them. It's me. It's just going to take a while to sort out all the reasons why.

Thank God for noggin docs.

In other news...

We had some excitement down at the Pump n' Go the other night. The Amazon sent me a text when she got to work Friday morning that there were blood splatters in the parking lot. They were the remnants of a fight the night before involving two hillfolk, one with a reputation for enjoying the chemical alteration of his mental state on a regular basis and another, normally respected member of the community who's daddy has a bad temper and is rumored to carry a loaded pistol.

The fight included a head beating with either a crow bar, a billie club or a baseball bat.. depending on who you ask and was over a girl. The blood in the parking lot was either from the head beating or an attempt by one of the hillfolk to bite the finger off the other... again.. depending on who you ask.

Regardless of the details, everyone in the holler famililar with the parties involved is sitting around waiting for Pistol Totin' Papa to pop a cap in Crack Head Carl's ass any day now.

It's gonna happen.

Anywho...

I'd better get started on some laundry. I'm down to two pairs of granny panties and the stretched out bra that doesn't really do anything to keep the girls off my knees.

Ya'll have a bootay kickin' weekend.

We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!

4 comments:

LindaN said...

*lol* wishing your nervs the best of luck!

BetteJo said...

Stay. In. The. House! It's safe there! Mullets and mini-mullets *shiver* scary stuff there Mahala!

EyeInStein said...

what is wrong with mullets ?

tiff said...

Waiting anxiously for tales of the pow wow...and PICTURES.