Valkyrie, Mistaken Identities and the Face of Evil

It looks like we're in for a beautiful day here in Frog Pond Holler. The birds are singing, the sun is shining and I just saw a pickup truck full of half nekkid hillfolk with inner tubes and a cooler heading down towards the creek.

The natives are restless.

I will not be participating in any creek splashing. I don't do creeks. Snakes swim in creeks. Ew. Now.. put me in the ocean where the critters are alot bigger and the water is way deeper and I'll swim all day without a care in the world.

I never claimed to be normal.. or rational.

Anywho...

It's been a pretty uneventful week here in Mahalaville. At the Cubicle Asylum, Bossman pitched no less than six hissified, spoiled little girl fits, Lulu talked smack about Thelma and PG only tried to get Lulu to sleep with him once. Business seems to be picking up, but what do I know? Everytime I say that, they lay someone else off or cut our hours.

I did find out we're getting a new 15K air conditioner in the coming weeks.When I told the Amazon she said, "Oh really? And who's getting fired to pay for that?"

Smart kid. I hope it's not me.

Here at the trailer, it's been pretty quiet... other than occasional outbursts of violence from the tiny kitty.

The other day, me and the Amazon watched Valkyrie, which I really liked. I'll admit I'm not crazy about Tom Cruise and while I tried to keep an open mind regarding his performance, I have to say I don't think his facial expression changed once through the entire movie. He looked like a totally emotionless robot.

Eddie Izzard's performance was excellent, as were those of the rest of the cast. I was a little distracted by all the famous faces that kept popping up, which became evident about halfway through the movie:

Me, pointing at the t.v., gesturing excitedly: "Oooo!! That's.. that's.. you know.. THAT GUY!!"

The Amazon, giving me the "I'm trying to watch a movie" stink eye: "Who? What guy?"

Me: "Oh crap! What the hell is his name? You know.. the guy who's like.. British and a comedian, but he's always in drag... you KNOW!!!"

The Amazon: "Eddie Izzard. You knew he was in this, that's why you wanted to see it. Remember? Ima need you to go get your medication checked."

Me: "NO dammit! Not him.. the other guy. He had a talk show, but as a woman, not here, over THERE somewhere."

The Amazon: "Eddie Izzard never had a talk show."

Me: "NOT EDDIE IZZARD! Dammit.. what's her name? She had a title.. barroness.. princesss.. no that's not it.. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

The Amazon: "Can we please just watch the movie?

Me: "Yeah, okay."

By then, I was completely lost. It took me a while to get caught back up to the plot and I was only half way paying attention anyway, too busy obsessing over the name of the actor I'd spotted seated during a crowd scene.

Me, recognizing actor Tom Wilkinson: "Hey! Isn't that the dude who was in that movie with Jessica Lange? You know.. the one where he reveals, after years of marriage, that he wants to be a woman?"

The Amazon: "I think so, yeah."

Me: "I'm sensing a pattern here."

The Amazon: "Mama... "

Me: "Yeah okay, I'm shutting up."

My mind started to wander again as I watched Tom Cruise fondle his fake eyeball for the third time. We kept hoping his wife would take a peek under that big eye patch and run away screaming.

Me: "DAME EDNA!!! THAT'S who that was!"

The Amazon, glaring at me from across the room: "Who?"

Me: "You have GOT to be kidding me. Dame Edna, she had a talk show on BBCA, but she's really a he but man, she is SO funny."

*crickets chirping*

The Amazon: "I don't know who that is, but now that you've figured it out, can we PLEASE. JUST. WATCH. THE MOVIE?"

Me, sighing: "Yeah.. okay."

It really was a good film, I'd never heard the story before and while I'm not usually a fan of historical dramas, I got caught up in the story line. I will have to watch it again, I missed some bits and pieces. I didn't, however, enjoy seeing Eddie Izzard get his ass kicked. I was ready to hop in Jolene and go pummel some Nazi bootay.

Right when it got to the exciting bit, towards the end, while everyone's in a wad trying to figure out if Hitler is really dead, I kept my eyes focused on the t.v. and said:

"Isn't that the dude from Love Actually?"

The Amazon: "I dunno. Hush."

Me: "I'm pretty sure I've seen him in a wig before."

The Amazon: "Oh my gawd would you stop already?"

Me: "I'm just sayin'"

Anywho.. ya'll have a great weekend. I ran to civilization last night, got the nails did and made all the other pit stops I needed to make. I'll probably run to the dollar store later for some bandaides, I used the last one this morning.

I was curled up on the couch under a blankie, sipping coffee and watching the morning news, when someone decided to curl up under there with me, acting all sweet and cuddly, right before she went all apeshit and clawed the bat snot out of my left butt cheek.




The Face of Evil


Oh and by the way, I looked it up and the actor who plays Dame Edna? Was totally not in Valkyrie. And he's Australian, not British. And the dude from Love Actually? He wasn't either.

But I'm not tellin' The Amazon.

Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters!