River Rescue and Recovered Trucks

Let's get caught up on all the news fit to repeat in and around Frog Pond Holler:

First, the stolen ambulance was located south of the border. No.. not Mexico.. South Carolina.. at a mental hospital. If I'd known, I could've hitched a ride. That's all I know about it at the moment, well.. other than I've been warned not to mention it to the wife of the paramedic on duty when the truck went missing. Apparently she's on the warpath with everyone in town ribbing her about it.

I'll keep ya'll informed.

The VFD has been busy plucking city folk out of the river this summer. Everyone in town was all in a wad when one call came in from the spa. The attendants reported they heard children screaming from the river, but they couldn't see them. An army of firemen, EMTs and.. well hell.. everyone in town.. went flying down there to see what they could do.

When they arrived, they found a canoe with two women, who must have sounded very childlike to the spa employees as they screamed for help. The VFD dropped their Wal-mart inflate-a-boat nautical rescue equipment into the water so shallow you could walk across wild rapids and pulled the women to safety.

There was some confusion over what exactly they needed help with, sometimes it's hard to keep up with the facts when you're sitting at home, in the ac, listening to the scanner.

"Tell the ambulance to step it up! She says she can't feel her legs," an excited first responder yelled into his radio.

Good thing this didn't happen yesterday, I can just imagine the dispatcher yelling back, "Tin fo-er, just as soon as we find it."

Anywho...

Soon after, my neighbor John Boy Jr. showed up on the scene. He's the fire chief, the mayor, the guy you call when your toilet backs up and can usually be found sitting at the dinner, hopped up on his 19th cup of sludge coffee at any given moment. He's got time to do all those things because he doesn't have to work. He gets a check every month since he hurt his back.

*cough*

"Cancel the truck, she's alright. They just went and got in some prickly weeds. We'll get 'em some callermine, they'll be fine," John Boy said.

I'm pretty sure that even if the canoe occupants had suffered something more severe, gazing upon the toothless, hairy face of John Boy Jr., all five foot nothing and wearing the same Bicentennial t-shirt he bought at the flea market three years ago that he's always wears on calls.. the one with the blood stains.. would be enough to cause anyone to have a miraculous recovery.

Ah well, I'd best get a move on. We'll get caught up on everything else in a day or two. Ya'll have a good one.

Later Taters!