Brain Flush


Today, my mind is like a swirling toilet full of mixed up junk that keeps going around and around, refusing to go down. Let's give it a good flush, shall we?

If Canada is under British rule, why are there so many French Canadians?

My crud is mostly better.

What kind of meat can I buy at the dollar store on the way home, cheap, that will go with potato cakes?

Bossman is in a pissy mood. For the untrained eye, it's a little tricky to tell, he's always such a ray of feckin' sunshine, but he's pissy. It's making me paranoid.

Should I get a passport? I don't have travel plans, I just feel like I should have one. Just in case.

Lately, when I've been face to face with people pissing and moaning over the news, I tell them I don't watch the news because I don't want to think about all the bullshit. Why do they then feel they need to tell me what was on the news?

And they whisper it, all wide eyed and looking around like it's some big, forbidden secret. I'm like.. Dude.. if it was on CNN, Fox and World News Tonight, everyone knows.

Is it five o'clock yet?

When I threaten to run away from home and live under the bridge down by the river, I'm only half joking.

Since I've stopped coloring my hair, should I let it grow long, wear it in a braid and go all "earth mother?" I mean, I've already got the body of a fertility goddess and I can rock the hell out of a tie dyed mumu.

Can you have acrylic hookerlicious pornstarrific french nails while strutting around the local Earth Fare in a tie dyed mumu? If I try, will someone call the hippy police on me? Are they like the phone police that tried to get Dr. Johnny Fever and Venus Flytrap up in Ohio back a few years ago?

Maybe I should rethink the whole earth mother thing.

They probably wouldn't approve of my big ass V8 Silverado down at the Earth Fare anyway.

I need to remember to call Aunt Moses to see if she knows where I can borrow a tiller. And someone to operate it.

Tomorrow is Hump Day. I'll try to come up with something better by then.

Later Taters!

8 comments:

tiff said...

Well, you're an artist, so the pron star nails and a hippie hairdo would NOT be unexpected. You're eccentric, quirky!!

Mmm, Venus Flytrap....

Inanna said...

Trade Jolene in on a donkey, temporarily. Cover your nails with moons and stars. There, perfect Earth Momma.

Travel said...

I like being quirky! Get a passport, you never know when Uncle Bert will start blogging again and invite us all to come visit the land of the Queen!

DG

Significant Snail said...

I've thought about the passport thing...just in case...
As for living under a bridge - that sounds pretty good too. This week got off to a bad start..hope tomorrow is better.

Lisa said...

You should have a passport. When you get it, you'll get a notice that says something to the effect of, "Feel free to wander the globe." (but only for a specific amount of time, mind you)

kenju said...

Ive been thinking about letting my (now) grey hair grow out and wearing it in a braid. It sure would save some moolah on hair cuts. I love muumuus too, so we could be a pair, except for the porn star nails. Mine are short, but I guess I could still have moons and stars....LOL

Meritt said...

The passport: Been there. Done that. I don't think you have an extra $100 just sitting around waiting to be spent on a passport that won't be used right?

I got me and the kids passports in 2001 (?). My oldest and I used them but the other two kids' expired.

I vote for having one - if you have the 'extra' funds to do so. Remember, it's going to take even more funds to USE it. :)

BetteJo said...

Where'd you get my picture?