As the Cubicle Turns



Let's saddle up that Drama Llama for the latest brouhaha at the Cubicle Asylum and around Frog Pond Holler.. shall we?

It all began last Friday when Bossman started trying to herd me out the door at 4:50. It was totally out of character for him. If he had wanted to sneak out 10 minutes early, it wouldn't have been anything out of the ordinary but his insistence that I follow him out the side door for a stealthy escape seemed odd.

Until I got outside. And I spotted "the box." It was Bubbles' shiny white all terrain assault vehicle. I'm still not 100% sure if Bossman was trying to avoid her, but if I had to bet money...

Then? Yesterday morning, as I barrelled up the hill towards the Asylum, I spotted Louise with her trusty new sidekick, Thumper, sitting in her tiny little red car, behind the parked cars next to the new restaurant. It appeared as though they were trying to hide.

What the crap?

I'd been here for a couple of hours yesterday morning before I conjured up the nerve to ask Thelma if she knew what the sam hill they were doing down there. Little did I know that by mentioning Louise's name I'd hit a nerve, resulting in a gush of emotion from Thelma about how Louise was driving her insane, calling her constantly all weekend, telling her every little tidbit of what she'd heard around town.

Apparently Louise has been calling everyone here (except me) to tell them she heard we were shutting down in three weeks.

Louise likes to get everyone in a wad, then sit back and watch the mayhem she's created. I'm sure there's an official name for that particular flavor of psychosis.

Poor Thelma was all flustered. It's so difficult to just stay focused and do your job when others are trying to give their own insecurities a little boost by dragging everyone else down. She and I had a long discussion, a sort of mutual pep talk and we both felt better when we were done. I still didn't know why Louise and Thumper had the road staked out like Starsky and Hutch at 8 o'clock in the morning, Thelma and I figured they must have been just nosey, looking to see who showed up for work.

But then?

Right before lunch I walked up to the front office to check my mailbox and caught a glimpse of someone in Tiny's office. There sat Louise with a stern look of determination on her face and beside her, with arms crossed across her belly, red faced and giving me the "die bitch die" hairy eyeball sat... Bubbles.

You'll have to tune in tomorrow for the rest of the story. Duty calls and I can't keep Bossman waiting.

Hang in there.

Later Taters!