Jasper Shunned and Bubbles' Meltdown

Dang ya'll, I'm running behind schedule today. We've been sort of busy for a change, which is good, but I've been expected to like... work and stuff.

By 9 o'clock we'd already had our daily dose of Bubbles drama. Precious the Elder called from school. Depending on which version of the story you want to believe she either fell or was shoved and either chipped her front tooth and is a little addled or she broke half of it off and was on the ground writhing in pain. Bubbles was quick to initiate the RED ALERT TELEPHONE TAG FAMILY EMERGENCY RELAY system, where she dials with rapid, quick firing accuracy, Bubbahubby's cell phone number, rattling off the details to him, sending him flying through town in the ambulance towards the elementary school. Okay so... he's a paramedic and that happens to be the only vehicle available.. but still. Then.. no lie.. she hangs up and immediately dials the in-laws because they MUST be informed of EVERY fart, sniffle, scratch and bicycle wreck WITHIN SECONDS of it's actual occurrence. Apparently, if they are not notified immediately, the signs of Armageddon will begin to present themselves and there is no turning back, bringing an end to the world and the eternal damnation of our souls to the fiery pits of hell.

She may or may not inform her own parents.

As much as I adore Precious the Elder (and I truly do, she is the only hope for that family) I sat in quiet prayer that her unfortunate morning would result in Bubbles leaving the Asylum for the day. After hearing Bubbles call the dentist office ("Oh THANK YOU, THANK YOU so MUCH for seeing her today, I don't know what we would have done!!!") I realized that Bubbahubby would be taking Precious the Elder to the dentist. At first, after Bubbles called their office, then called her in-laws again, then Bubbahubby, she had said she'd meet him there (Yes!) but he must have told her to stay here (Dang! So Close!)

I really wish someone would share the wonders of speed dial with Bubbles, because she beats the living beejeebus out of that phone when she starts calling all the kin folk.

Oh and by the way, Precious the Elder is all fixed up, fine and dandy.

The meeting we had yesterday on Sexual Harassment and Hostile Work Environments amounted to the HR manager reading the same piece of paper she reads to us every year, then handing us a page to sign.. which I did and quietly went back to work.

But...

Yesterday afternoon after Bubbles left for her appointment to determine whether her vajayjay should be placed in quarantine for the protection of the general public from the spread of her crotch rotting bacteria doctor's appointment, the GM and Bossman stole the Easter Basket of Halloween candy from Bubbles cube, then camped out in mine while they pillaged. The GM made a reference to some comments that were made during the morning manager's meeting the previous day, comments that had upset me greatly. I thought he had said them and told him so. The GM then went on to explain that it wasn't he who made hate filled statements of a racial nature, it was Jasper.

Since he brought it up, I took the opportunity to remind the GM that although they think the morning manager's meeting is private, the entire office staff can hear what is being discussed without much effort. I also gently reminded him that not everyone in earshot of the meeting appreciates that particular brand of humor and while the person who heard those statements would be willing to look the other way this time, any future statements of that nature would definitely and without hesitation result in a formal report of said statements to the corporate office.

I also mentioned that I'd witnessed Jasper in attendance of the "training meeting" earlier in the day and suggested that this might present the perfect opportunity to bring up statements as were made in the meeting and how they are a violation of our company policy.

Jasper won't even look at me today. Ask me if I give a possum's butt.

Anywho.. it's Humpday ya'll. Let's hump it like an AIG executive, 'cuz they seem to hump it real good.

Later Taters!