I hope ya'll can forgive me for being so late with my Humpday post, because honestly? I've been humping it like the last horny girl chimp in a midwestern zoo breeding program, courting six big, hairy, knuckle dragging suitors.
The only reason I'm here now is our inventory program pulled a crash and burn a few minutes ago and I can't work anyway.
Well.. I have stuff I could be doing but.. meh.
Aside from some customer driven drama (I'm sorry, I can't wave my wand and get your 400lbs of chit from Frog Pond Holler to Indiana in 24 hours for less than $650. I am the Sales Ninja, but even I have my limits) things have been pretty quiet around the Asylum. I retired my earbuds for radio listening. I still use them when I want to sneak on Hulu to watch reruns of "The Riches" or some YouTube work of art, but I'm not going to sit over here with my ears plugged up while Bubbles enjoys her chit kickin', backer spittin', coon dog lovin', yeehaw bull crap. I keep my musical selections at a reasonable sound level, unless she peeves me off. I figure, if she's hootin' and hollerin' so loud I can't hear my radio at my desk, I just turn it up.
When she pops her gum, I smack my lips loudly, mocking her. When she gets on the phone and starts telling everyone in the holler about her crotch rot, I pick up the phone and call someone, usually Lulu, and share information that I feel is important. Like that the store brand peanut butter has the consistency of runny baby poo, taking care to describe it in great detail. I do it loudly, so I can make sure Lulu hears me.
It's nice to hear someone else on the phone with a customer going, "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" besides me.
Am I being childish? Spiteful? Immature?
Maybe. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
Anywho..
The order I was entering when the system crashed has been tossed in to some weird state of suspended animation. It's there, but I can't get in it.. and I'm not done with it. Now I'm going to have to call The Geek.
I don't like to call The Geek.
On days like today, I seriously reconsider my decision to quit smoking.
Seriously.
I hope you went ahead and got started on that humpin' thang. Do it like you mean it!
Later Taters!
3 comments:
Six knuckle draggers at once? You're more of a woman than I realized, Mahala.
I'm just laughing.
Oh my! That's some humpin going on!! Six you say?? Lucky... energetic girl.
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