Short, Sticky People Invade and Using the Past to Live the Present

Ohhhh I can't wait until I make enough money to pay off this trailer and move far, far away. My trashy, big boobed, lazy eyed cousin's youngin is here, running in and out the door every whipstitch, leaving me to drop everything and corral dogs at everyone else's whim.

I want to live alone. Away from all my relatives. I don't care how hateful it makes me sound, that's what I want.

I'd want the Amazon to come with me, but she probably wouldn't.

Moving on...

I was originally scheduled to be off tomorrow. I get paid for the holiday anyway, so I was going to have to take an extra day off, but Bossman approached me Friday and said, "Bubbles is coming in for four hours today because I need her to work on something, so in order to keep everything "fair" (he actually did finger air quotes and rolled his eyes while saying "fair") I'm offering you the option of working four hours on Tuesday."

I told him I would, that I'd work any hours he'd let me. I'll go in tomorrow morning and work 'til lunch. He repeated, with finger air quotes and eye roll, "Well we just have to make sure we keep everything "fair."

I don't know what's brought this whole "fairness" thing on, I haven't said a word. I've been trying, and by the way, it ain't easy folks, to keep my head down and mind my own business. Bubbles and I are the only two people in the sales department, so I'm assuming she's been complaining again. It probably happened when I did those three days out on the floor for that Super Samauri, Spaghetti Monster thingie, the "training meetings" that I agreed to in order to get forty hours, which turned out to be machine maintenance in 100° heat. She probably went to him and informed him that it wasn't fair for me to get to work a whole week when she wasn't. I suspect this because Louise, a double agent type friend of Bubbles, cornered Lulu and interrogated her the whole time I was working out on the floor. I'm certain that Bubbles put her up to it.

I'll know for sure tomorrow. If that's the case, she'll be super pissy when she sees me in the morning.

Saran Wrap ain't got nothing on her when it comes to transparency.

I'll get there first (she's always late) so she'll see Jolene (my truck) sitting in the parking lot. If she's addled, she'll sashay in the door with that mouth going wide open. That's how she responds to any and all stressors. She'll hoot and holler and put the Shirley Temple-esque voice on, dripping arsenic laced honey up and down the hall. She'll be waiting for Louise (who is also always late) so that she can give her an earful about my being there. I mean.. how dare Bossman let me have four hours just because he let her!

She will have almost calmed down by her lunch break at 11:30, but she'll get pissed off all over again when she returns from lunch at 12:30, enjoying being there alone for an hour, then realizing I'm not coming back.

Oh yes.. victory is sweet.

In other news..

I've been venturing out in to internet advertising for Twistedmare, starting small with a $10 investment and playing around with it to see what happens. The other day, I dug out all the papers from the small business management course I took at the vocational college a few years ago and went through them. It reminded me of when I was at Booker T. Washington high school, in a special program for "problem" students, after I did an entire semester of in school suspension. Yes.. I was a problem child. The program was to expose us to different types of business opportunities, to try to get us excited about something besides being in trouble.

I remembered that I aced the marketing part of that class.

I was in Junior Achievement too at some point. We glued baby blocks to picture frames and sold them. I was in charge of the advertising/marketing part of that class too.

Maybe all those seemingly unrelated events in my past were actually preparing me for right now. If you believe, as I do, that everything happens for a reason, it would make sense. Maybe that explanation is a little too "head in the clouds" for practicality, but it sounds good to me.

Wait.. do you hear that? "Maaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaalaaaa... "

That's the sound of laundry calling my name. I'd better get to it.

Ya'll enjoy your holiday. If you're working today, take it easy when the boss isn't looking. You deserve it. If you get caught, tell them to see me.

Later Taters!