Thursday, July 17, 2008

Opinions o' Mahala, Because I Know You Care

Welcome to Thursday ya'll!

I have no idea where this is going, so strap it on strap yourself in, grab a cuppa joe and hold on tight as we explore some random observations from the past week.

Sometimes, the most highly educated people, don't have a lick of damned sense.

The other day I called back to our engineering department to get some part number information from the head of our design team, Jabba. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Hi Jabba! I need a part number for blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda."

Jabba: "Hey Mahala.. what's that you said?"

Me: "I said I need a part number for blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda."

Jabba: "I can't hear you at all, you're breaking up real bad on speaker phone, I don't know what's wrong with this thing.... say it again?"

Me: "I SAID I NEED A PART NUMBER FOR BLAH BLAH BLAH, YADDA YADDA YADDA!"

Jabba: "I'm not sure I got it that time. Can you just bring it back here?"

Now, ya'll will just have to excuse me for not being very patient with Mr. MakesFourTimesMySalaryWithTwoEngineeringDegreesAndSleepsAtHisDesk but, is it really THAT big of an inconvenience to PICK UP THE FECKIN' PHONE?

What is it about speakerphone and men? Is it just here? I mean, good gawd. Bossman's office is so close that I can just about spit on his little bald head from here, yet he feels the need to put me on speakerphone when he calls me for something. Hell.. it would be less disruptive to just yell through the office and better than hearing myself in STEREO.. echoing down the hall.

Moving on..

Real men wear eyeliner, Part Deux:

After work yesterday, my brain was fried. I decided that I'd walk away from the computer for the night and give my feeble mind a break. Instead, I vegged out on the couch with the t.v. remote. I didn't cook dinner, wash clothes or draw dead bunnies. I did nothing productive.. and it felt good.

I found a movie that I'd not seen in forever, so I cuddled up under a blankie, wrapped my arms around a pillow and settled in with Johnny Depp in "The Man Who Cried."

Depp as the quiet, sensitive Gypsy who rides the magnificent white horse through the streets of Paris, loves little children and silently sobs at the loss of his lover, his heart shattering with every tear.. Dang people... What the hell else does a girl need after a hard day at the Cubicle Asylum?

Nothing. That's what.

On Craig Ferguson's mustache:

He shaved it off. Thank you Jesus. That's all I'm saying.

Because I'm psycho psychic, that's why.

Don't bother watching the national news cast ya'll. It's depressing, it's the same regurgitated mess on every channel, over and over again. I can tell you everything they're going to say and save you the bother, freeing up your t.v. time for the mindless brain candy you'd rather be watching anyway:

The economy sucks. Everything costs more, because gas costs more, but your paycheck is going to be less. There is no end in sight, we're all going to die and the world will come to an end.

Barack Obama said some stuff and some people turned it in to some other stuff and now, he's angry. John McCain said some stuff and some other people turned it in to some other stuff and now, he's angry.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

The weather sucks. It's either a horrendous heat wave and you're all going to fry or there is relentless flooding and you're all going to drown.

Then, there will be a 1o minute segment by newscasters that couldn't make instant oatmeal if their lives depended on it, on how to cut your grocery bill by buying exotic foods that I've never even heard of, cooked by equipment I can't afford to buy. This segment will be followed by a commercial for the local grocery store, where milk is on sale for $185 a gallon.

As an alternative to the national newscast, check out Link Tv. See how the rest of the world lives. Not going home to a mud hut at the end of the day or getting up every morning and heading off to work at an American owned factory... for about a quarter a shift.. makes me remember how rich I really am. It'll remind you what living in a "free country" really means.

Check out some World Music Videos from Egypt or Cuba. Use them to remind yourselves that there are people living in those little colored territories on the globe. People with families, humans who experience loss, love and joy.

Think outside the borders.

Anywho, that's my rantastic offering for today. Ya'll have a nice one. Take a moment to be thankful. I'll be trying to do the same.

Later Taters.

6 comments:

Significant Snail said...

Hate speaker phones...
Love Johnny Depp...
The news is disappointing for many reasons....
So glad this week is nearly done!

kenju said...

Speakerphones should be banned.

Travel said...

Hate speakerphones, especially people who think you have to use one for a conference call (not if you are the only person in the room!) Love my really good phone headset in the office, I look like a geek, but I can talk and keyboard at the sametime without my neck hurting. I gave up on the news (except for coverage of the fireworks across from my office today.)

DG

poopie said...

small world ain't it?

Melissa said...

Speaker phones are a pet peeve of mine. I hate them even more than cell phones and that is really saying something.

Dianne said...

I have a client who only speaks to me from his car, on speaker phone! I picture him sitting in his driveway just to feel important.

Amen on Fergasm's mustache! Although I felt bad for him when he did his poor me oh the bitterness I've faced thingie.

"think outside the borders" - that is an example of how complex and brilliant you are!

Happy Friday Lady - I'll be finding crap to be grateful for ;)