Saturday, July 26, 2008

Do They Make a Pill for That?

Don't you hate when you have a weird dream that stays with you all day, messing with your head and throwing your whole psyche out of whack?

A sex dream even.

With a toothless, old, bald, nasty lookin' truck driver that I picked up on the internet. He reminded me of my Mamaw when her mind got too far gone and she stopped putting her teeth in. He was gummin' and slobberin' all up on my neck and ....

*shiver*

I'll spare you the extremely graphic, disturbingly sexual details.. and believe me when I say I'm doing you a huge favor.

The really, really sad part? In the dream, I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. I cried when he left, I pined for him by the window and everything.

I'm not sure if this means I need medication, a social life or just to get laid. Alot.

If you need me, I'll be in the bedroom with the Hoover trying to suck the lurid, slobbery images from my mind's eye before they take up permanent residence.

*gag*

Later Taters!!

14 comments:

Traci Dolan said...

That's like the time I dreamed I was having sex with my neighbor and his wife... not sure you really needed to know that.

Mahala said...

Maybe it WAS your neighbor??

BetteJo said...

Dreams like that with inappropriate partners are really disturbing. I mean really, WHY does that happen??
Ick!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

With you busy twitterin', bloggin' and playing Second Life, how do you even have the energy to have sex with a toothless drooler?

Maybe this dream represents your deep-seated lust for a new truck? A new bald, toothless truck? You know, white with no grill or something.

Mahala said...

And Plurking.. don't forget the Plurking :)

Traci Dolan said...

Nahhh, I call those "Jack Daniels dreams" because I've always drank Jack before I have those kind of wacked out dreams.

Travel said...

It sounds like you need time alone with battery operated personal appliances

DG

Dianne said...

lol @ travel!

I read that and my own comment just went straight out the window!

Need to go check battery supply ...

Anonymous said...

...umm. With ref to the other evening I wish to point out that I do in fact own the truck, and as I explained at the time my other teeth were being fixed.

(sorry about the dribble...but you were FANTASTIC....oooarrgg)

Mahala said...

Lawd have mercy!

Jeni said...

Most of my dreams are weird but I've had some that were extra weird too. One involved the last guy I dated's wife -he was a widower my dream involved her visiting me and making sure I was taking good care of him. That morning when I awoke, some jewelry -necklaces, in particular -were laying at the foot of my bed. To my knowledge, I don't sleepwalk and these were necklaces I rarely wore too. I have no clue how they got from the jewelry box I kept them in to my bed to this day -10 years after the fact and nothing like that ever happened before or since either. Considering I still remember this dream, it had quite an impact on me cause I usually can't remember them very well, if at all, beyond about 10 minutes after I wake up.

Mahala said...

I firmly believe that when a dream sticks with you like that, there was a message you were meant to take from it.

tiff said...

So, "Hoover" is some kind of euphemism?

Anonymous said...

You're not taking Vicodin are you? Cuz I am and it's causing some wicked wierd dreams. Nothing sexual though. Maybe if I try real hard tonight I can conjure up Patrick Dempsey......