Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Alakazam!

Okay ya'll.... keep it down. I was told to "look busy" for the next forty minutes until lunch time, so I'm hiding in my cubey. Bossman thinks I'm doing a project for the "program" I'm participating in and Jasper, who is over the program, told me to go hide.

I've spent the last four and half hours applying masking tape to a machine then tracing around 800 gajillion stickers with a box cutter... Cuz after lunch weze gonna paint it.

Yippee Aye A!

See.. our company has this program which is supposed to increase productivity. It's based on some Japanese company or some crap.. I don't really effin' know... But they dream up these Alakazam projects and participants have titles like "The Uber High Karate Master" and "The Head Judo Chop Dude."

The Alakazam thingies pick a process where productivity is down, then form a team to work out how to fix it. There are video cameras involved, "Pasta Dinner Charts," and a whiteboard which all sounds very motivational meeting like and fun.

No one said a farkin' word about hard labor and I'm still not sure why in the hell I'm crawling around in the greasy floor with masking tape. I must have pissed off the Uber High Karate Master or some chit.

Anywho.. This afternoon we're painting the big greasy machine, but only the front of it because we don't have enough paint to paint it all... even though I went over every gawdforsaken inch of every flippen area that we don't want to paint with tape.

Then we're going to paint the lines on the floor.

No... seriously. I'm not making this chit up.

Tomorrow we have to do a remake of what I like to call our "Factory Porn" and see if all our hard labor helped to trim some minutes off the time consuming operation. Then we have to do a presentation, after which I have been promised lunch, paid for by the company, as long as it comes from the Grab n' Go (and go and go.)

Ya'll are jealous right now aren't you? I know you are... you're wishing you were me.

*snort*

I think I'm gonna go play Bejeweled 'til lunch time. Ya'll be good.

Later Taters.

6 comments:

Significant Snail said...

So, you've been 'motivated' to paint machinery and lines!!LOL!

With an offer of free lunch from grab and go and go...how could anyone refuse?

Good luck with the time shaving and all...guess it's more fun than the usually bs..

Anonymous said...

Do you ever get the feeling your place of employment should have its own sitcom? *g*

BetteJo said...

I would rather be painting machinery than counting everything. Counting how many steps to my desk, how many breaths I take while handling a particular issue, how many strokes of the keyboard does it take to document said issue - and on and on and on.
Sh-h-h. I don't talk about my job on the internets. But really - give me a paintbrush!!!

Travel said...

It must be the heat or something, my office was f***&ing nuts today. On top of my regular work there is a huge debate going on about a proposed new project, that everyone wants me to volunteer for and no one wants to provide any details about what I will be expected to do or how much money anyone will pay me or my office for me doing. To make it even more fun, two different people are proposing the project, both want me to help. I am wavering between telling them both yes, or both no, or telling one of them maybe until the day before the deadline and then saying NO WAY! Naw, can't do that, never make enemies with people with friends in high places.

DG

tiff said...

How is painting a maching going to increase productivity? Y'all putting hoochie mamas on it or something?

poopie said...

You go oh great one! I bet you'll get early retirement if you save 'em enough pennies :)