Fertility, Frolicking and Cold Showers

There's something about Fridays that makes me wanna strip off my clothes and run, frolicking through the meadow, feeling the soft grass between my toes and the cool breeze of the early spring morning tickling the tender, exposed skin of my nether regions.

Now there's an image that makes you wanna stab out your mind's eye with a plastic spork.

We've had excitement around the trailer the past few days. The other evening, I was outside communing with the bunny.. from a safe distance.. when I heard water running under the house.

Not a good sign.

I eventually mustered the nerve to peel back the skirting and peer underneath (I just knew something would be staring back at me) and found a white PVC pipe sticking out from the general vicinity of my closet, where the hot water heater is housed. Water was not trickling out, nay.. it was pouring out like a faucet.

Not a good sign.. part 2.

The leak gusher was discovered two days ago. Ma and I have spent most of that time arguing over which of us was going to flip the little lever thingie to see if it's stuck and her determination that we keep the breaker off for the heater until we get it fixed. All that does is prevent me from having a hot shower, it does nothing to stop the water from flowing out of the pipe. Yet we keep it flipped off most of the time, taking cold showers, just to make her feel better. It does nothing, however, for my Bitchy McCrankypants mood.

Ma is supposed to be calling "someone" to come look at it. I've determined that the culprit is most likely a worn out overflow valve thingiemabob. I have the smarts to find out what's broken by looking on the internet, but lack the balls to actually try to fix it. The all knowing interwebs says it's easy peasy to fix and the part is only ten bucks, but it's probably going to cost me $100 by the time we find a Handy Andy willing to to drive to Frog Pond Holler.

If I'm lucky.

There are two ways I can look at this. First: I finally got some extra money by selling my car and now something as to break to eat it up, or The Universe made sure I was able to sell my car in time to have the money I need to get the stupid hot water heater fixed.

I prefer the latter.

I should still have enough for the RAM upgrade, a hair cut, a home fried dye job and some pornstarrific ho nails.

Ya gotta live a little, right? And there's still that government funded stimulation Georgie Porgie promised me. Everything's gonna work itself out.

Did ya'll know that bunnies aren't just a sign of fertility, they're also a sign of positive change and prosperity?

Just sayin'.

Ya'll have a booty kickin' day. Later Taters.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, I know the feeling. Every little savings or extra buck gets eaten up by something! Sometimes I resent that but mostly I'm just glad that there was some money for whatever problem reared it's ugly head! Enjoy them bunnies! Have a good weekend too!

Dianne said...

My son calls himself "Even Steven" - every time he works overtime something on his truck breaks.

that bunny is adorable.

Happy Mother's Day weekend. Hope your ho nails are ho-licious!

Jeni said...

How well I DO KNOW the feeling of getting a couple bucks that make you feel you are ahead of the game for a day or two and then, boom -that being ahead feeling seemed only to last maybe an hour or two at the very most more often than not. If my taxes weren't due -actually most likely overdue -when I would receive my income tax refund, there would almost always be a bunch of doctor or hospital bills that needed to be dealt with. Once in a while, there would be enough left to get whichever kid had just outgrown and almost new pair of shoes a replacement pair. You know the old saying "When it rains, it pours" and sadly, that ain't only Morton's Salt, is it? Or maybe it is -salt in the open wounds, maybe?
But anyway, glad you got the auto sales money just in the nick of time to get the plumbing repaired and still hopefully have enough for the hair and nails to get gussied up! Hang in there kid. Better days are coming! When, I don't know, but it usually helps to tell ourselves that for a while anyway! Oh yeah -see, I was right. DUBYA's big check is enroute so there ya go! Salvation is on the way. Just too damned bad those stimulus checks don't come every month then maybe trying to get ahead might actually become reality.

Travel said...

It sounds like the high pressure relief valve is relieving itself under the house. It is relatively easy to replace. I don't touch plumbing after coming home to four inches of water in the kitchen, living room and dining room the last time I trid to save $100 by doing something myself.

DG

tiff said...

Plumbing and electric are best left to the pros, IMHO. That 100 smackers is sore to lose, I'm sure, but at least it's not going on credit. Yay for selling that car!

Joy T. said...

Is that why people carry a bunny foot on a key chain? I'm not suggesting you lop poor bunny's foot off or anything, I'm just saying. Carry the whole damn bunny around if you have to and maybe some gorgeous hunk o man will come and fix that gusher.

kenju said...

I know what you mean: I made some $$ on a big wedding in January and in February, we had to dig up and pump out the septic tank. There went all my profits!

Do keep the switch off until you get a repairman. If the hot water tank is empty and the power to it is on, it will burn out the motor and be more expensive to repair. Been there, done that.

Good luck!

SierraBella said...

Listen to kenju and turn off the tank!

Other than that, have a lovely Mother's Day tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

Happy Mothers Day Dolphie!!!

Honeysuckle Rose said...

The hubby says he hopes your water is not still gushing! But I'm with you and everyone else, call in the professionals (or at least someone with more balls to flip the lever thingie, heh )

Happy Mother's Day!

poopie said...

Happy Mom's day...now send me a bunny so that I can prosper!

Mahala said...

Happy Mother's Day ya'll!!! And thanks for the repair advice. We ended up replacing the whole thing, but Ma paid so it's all good. I never did get that hair cut, but I have the hookerlicious ho nails :)

Welcome back to the fold Honeysuck Le Rose!!! You were missed. And SierraBella!! You've been AWOL forever!!!