Craig Ferguson Withdrawal and the Fire Safety Groove

Did ya'll make it through Humpday unscathed? We're one day closer to a three day weekend (wee!) Things are looking up all the time.

Well.. other than my DVR situation.

I've changed every setting, I've bought new discs, checked the gajillion cables to make sure everything was still connected.. I give up. I miss Craig Ferguson ya'll. I'm reduced to watching the monologues online and the occasional skit they deem worthy of the website. Since the Amazon is going to be gone all weekend anyway, I'm going to dig out the book that came with the stupid thing and try to sort out the problem. I can't buy a new one.. major entertainment purchases are like.. SO not in my budget right now.

Speaking of Craig Ferguson, which I don't do nearly often enough, I saw that he's appearing in Georgia this September. I checked the location, I think I can get there in like three hours. Depending on assorted variables like the price of gas, how much cash I have and the chance they'll hear I'm coming and cancel the show like they did in Big City last year.. I may be able to make it down there.

Ya'll know how much I love meetings right? Yesterday, at around 1:15 p.m., I was informed that I needed to be in one at 2:15 p.m. For reasons unknown, our HR department no longer issues memos of upcoming meetings, they just wait until about an hour before it's scheduled to begin, expecting you to just drop any actual WORK you might be doing and march willingly down to the break room to sit through some senseless hogwash for an hour. This week's selection, a double feature:

Bloodborne Pathogens followed by The Proper Use of Fire Extinguishers

I was positively giddy with excitement. I could hardly contain myself. By the end of the first one I'd had enough. The chief engineer, Jabba, was asleep and snoring in front of me. His first mate was also asleep to my right. Lulu and I contemplated bombing them with spit balls just to break up the monotony, but they turned the lights back on long enough for us to take the required quiz, which will be placed in our file. I don't see the point, the HR manager stood at the front of the room and read the answers off to us.

It's like junior high all over again. I wasn't fond of the experience the first time around, I damn sure don't want to have to relive it.

The second film was all about how to use a fire extinguisher. Lucky me, I have the designated office extinguisher hanging about two feet from my desk. I tell my co-workers that if a disgruntled employee ever comes back to shoot the place up, I'm using it as a weapon. It's never occurred to me that I may have to use it to put out an actual fire.. although there was that one time I left a candle burning too close to one of the plants on my desk, melting a big hole in the plastic planter.

Yeah.. they aren't going to let me live that one down.. ever.

The second film did have better graphics and there was some cheesy, chicka-chicka-bow-wow, circa 1974 porn music playing. I felt inspired. I was moved. It began with a slight nodding of my head, progressing in to a full-on, upper-body version of the cabbage patch. The sight of me there, in the back row of the snack room with my eyes rolled back, biting my bottom lip, grunting quietly along with the music, getting my fire safety groove on was more than Lulu could handle.

She snorted.

Bossman's face almost exploded as he tried like hell to stifle a laugh, because gawd forbid he should like.. show some emotion.

You gotta be goofy or go wonky taters around here. Sometimes I do both.

For now, I'm going to go finish recreating the entire motor price file that I accidentally deleted yesterday, one of many major boo-boos I've accomplished in the past week. One of my customers emailed me this morning that we need a B complex vitamin to keep from being so scatter brained. Reckon that would help?

I think it's just Fergburger withdrawal. Do they have patches for that?

Ya'll have a killer, kick bootay day.

Later Taters.

If you use yahoo, I'm back in the game.