Pollen, Mange and Thai Food

Okies ya'll, we've got a lot of ground to cover today, so grab a cuppa joe and get comfy!

First, I appreciate ya'll putting up with my little emotional outburst yesterday. I try to keep things on a light note but sometimes you just have to let it fly. Hopefully, I've got that out of my system for a while.

There's a creepin' crud going around the Asylum. Our days are filled with the sound of hacking phlegm and sneezing, with just a hint of aromatic menthol hanging in the air. PG seems to be the most phlegmy. I called him at one point yesterday and told him he needed to just stop fighting it, lay down and die, we'd all be better off.

Of course, each time PG lets loose with one of those deep, gut twisting, nasal clearing gags, the delicate Bubbles moans and carries on, because he is just so gross. How dare he be sick in her presence? It probably doesn't help matters that I usually follow up with a quiet, "Oooooo a juicey one!!!" or "Mmmmm phlegmy!!"

I've developed a touch of the crud myself, probably due to the 2 inch thick layer of mucus yellow pollen that's layin' on everything. One side of my throat is raw and I've been churnin' snot pretty productively for two days. I know ya'll really want to hear all the gory details of my ailments.


I thought I had been exposed to another ailment yesterday morning. I visited the potty here at the Asylum and found a thin layer of hair on the toilet seat. I was disturbed by the sight of the short hairs, distributed evenly all around. I took some paper towels, wiped them in to the bowl, then went over everything with Lysol. When I got back to my desk, I called Lulu with the news.

"Have you been in the potty??" I asked.

"Not yet, why.. is it nasty?" which is Lulu's worst fear.. nastiness of any kind.

"No.. well not exactly. There was hair all over the seat. I think... someone's got the COOCHIE MANGE!!!"

"The what??" she asked.

"Coochie Mange!!! All the hair has obviously fallen out of someone's coochie. I disinfected it all, I don't want to get it. I mean, I'm assumin' it's catchin'."

Lulu was silent. I thought it was because she was in shock, but I soon realized she was just laughing so hard she'd momentarily stopped breathing.

"That's Louise's hair you goofball!"

"Louise has the coochie mange??????? OMG!"

"No no no... she was in there trimming her hair .. on her HEAD.. earlier. She just got it done last night and they left her bangs too long."

"Oh... nevermind."


Rachel at A Hippy Chick tagged me with the "6 Unimportant Things" meme, where you post 6 unimportant things about yourself. Then tag 6 random people and leave a comment on their blogs to let them know.

6 Unimportant Things:
1. No one has ever proposed to me.
2. I used to consider Bubbles one of my best friends.
3. I wince when I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror.
4. In my head, I think Lulu only tolerates me because she's too polite to tell me to take a hike.
5. I have comment anxiety. Whenever I leave comments on people's blogs (even my own) I'm always afraid what I say will be taken wrong and I'll get yelled at. I backspace over alot of comments and chicken out.
6. I used to fantasize about sex. Now, I spend my time day dreaming about a nice, long nap.
I don't like to tag, but if you want to grab this one and give it a shot, let me know and I'll give you the linky luuuuurve.
Speaking of which, Poopie over at Poop Happens did the photo meme from the other day, so pop over and check out the view from her front door.
This weekend is the big hiker festival in Frog Pond Holler so there'll be lots of stinky, hippy types, some music and most importantly, the guy from Thai Kitchen will have his booth set up in the middle of town. The Amazon loves her some Thai food. In honor of said fest, I'm working on a t-shirt design for hikers. The inspiration didn't hit soon enough for me to get it ready before this weekend, but what the hay, it'll be done by next year. Anywho, the hiker traffic flows through here until well into the fall, so there will be plenty of opportunities to sell my wares.
I think that gets us pretty much caught up for now. I'm gonna go do some actual work for a change. Ya'll do the same.
I'll catch ya later, Taters!


Meritt said...

So... that would be why you never comment? And here I figured you only read my blog about once every 6 months. *snicker*

Mahala said...

Ever since that one chick publicly reamed my hind end when I left what I "thought" was a kind, caring comment, I worry and rewrite comments three or four times before I leave them. That's why they usually consist of "LOL!" or "OMG!" and nothing else lol.

Brad Brown said...

My laptop often looks like it has coochie mange. Every time someone sits down at my laptop, I have to give the "that's cat hair, not pubic hair" disclaimer. Eventually, I'll probably just stop explaining and say "Yeah, those are my pubes...but they're exceptionally clean."

Travel said...

At least she was trimming the hair on her head and not . . . well think about it, ewwww!

Don't ever worry about comments, we would never say anything to hurt you.


Jeni said...

I agree on the "don't worry" thing about the comments. If someone writes something and others comment on it, the writer has to be thick-skinned enough to realize not all commenters might fall directly in line behind the writer -so take the lumps with the good, ya know. Don't let people like that stifle your desire to comment!
"Coochie mange." huh? Too funny!
And #6 on your meme -used to dream of sex but now, dream of naps, loved AND AGREE with that one wholeheartedly! Kind of a relief ya know too after all the lurid daydreams of yesteryear!

tiff said...

I had not ever heard of a mange that makes the cooch hair fall out all on a sudden. My goodness, the things we do learn.

No worries on the comments on my account - I've retracted more than my fair shre - usually for piss-poor typing, but sometimes for drunkenly spouting off. Oops.

Law Student Hot Mama said...

I'm convinced she just said it was her bangs. It was totally coochie mange.

Also, don't fear the comment. My comments are stupid, too! So head on over to my blog, mmmkay? I'm a comment whore.

Anonymous said...

Some things in life can be sorted easy. Some less so.

1. Will you marry me?
2. On our wedding night you may retire early, IMO sex is a morning thing, best enjoyed after a nights sleep. You may nap until breakfast is served.
3. I will remove all mirrors and reflective surfaces - Beauty has nothing to do with how you look. It is how you are seen.
4. You have the right to your opinion. The backspace key should only be used to correct spelling errors.
5. Bubbles and Lulu, no answer there. Have you considered murder?

Love your blog, although I don't visit often enough.

Mahala said...

Awwww, you always know what to say :)

terri said...

Am I the only one wondering why Louise was trimming her hair over the toilet? Is there a mirror there?

Mahala said...

It's a really small bathroom, a single throned closet. Hair was everywhere lol.

tiff said...

OK - who is anonymous? I want a mahala wedding album, pronto!

Mahala said...

LOL! Well... since it's "anonymous" I'm assuming/hoping/thinking, after some Statcounter deductions, that "anonymous" is one of my good friends from Second Life.

Joy T. said...

I just spit tea all over my monitor and I'm sooooo blaming you! And "coochie mange" and ok just the whole darn post. Oh lawsy I die laughing every time I come over here! If I pee myself I'm totally blaming you too!