Broomhilda With Breakfast and Sprinting Amazons in the Morning Mist

Guess who didn't show up for work this morning?

That's right, it's a Bubbles free day. Hallyfreakin'loo-YA!

Bossman is still out until Friday. I am unsupervised, in a quiet, happy place and all is right with the world.

Okay, maybe it's not THAT blissful, but it's pretty darn good.

The Amazon was late for work this morning. There was growling, slamming and hurried flinging of various undergarments. I felt bad for her, but as I stood in the kitchen window, filling the coffee pot with water, I couldn't help but giggle a little as I witnessed her sprinting by. I've not seen her move that fast in years.

Spring has finally taken hold here in the mountains. I know this because I woke up this morning with a serious case of Big Fat Juicy Eyeball. Only one, mind you. The right one. It swells up sometime during the night, then expels it's watery juiciness throughout the day. I took some dolla' store brand Zyrtec, hopefully it'll ease the oozing.

I stopped at the New and Improved campground store this morning for a biscuit. There had been a very sweet little redheaded lady working there, greeting me with a friendly smile and a kind word, which I looked forward to almost as much as the biscuit.

Apparently, she quit.

She's been replaced by the crazy drunk lady that I've had several encounters with over the years. Ma had the bright idea to hire her to clean the house once, without my knowledge. I came home at lunch to find Broomhilda staggering around, waving can of Pledge over her head.

Let's just say, that didn't end well.

I encountered her again workin' at the dolla' store, where she exhibited violent tendencies while directing me to "PRESS THE BUTTON.. YOU MUST PRESS THE BUTTON NOW PLEASE.. MAKE YOUR SELECTION IMMEDIATELY," on the credit/debit card machine thingie.

She's a scary individual.

So you can imagine my dismay when she greeted me at the campground store early this morning. "How are YOU today?" she asked, flashing a grin, with pride in the one big ass yellowed tooth she's managed to hold on to.

"I'm good thanks, you?"

"It's hump-it! hump-it! hump-it! day! It's all GOOD!!" she answered.

I smiled and thanked her for my biscuit. While climbing in my truck, I realized I'd be tormented by the image of Broomhilda, with her long, stringy, dirty-blonde hair, snaggle-toothed grin and shiny gums, telling me to "hump-it! hump-it! hump-it!" for the rest of my day at the Asylum.

It's all good ya'll. Hump it three times, for Broomhilda.

Later Taters!

12 comments:

Law Student Hot Mama said...

I think maybe Broomhilda was actually drinking the Pledge instead of using it to clean . . .

terri said...

Broomhilda seems just a little too excited for Wednesday for me. Be careful around that woman!

Anonymous said...

You're so lucky...I wish no-one was in my office today. I am burnt out on teenage-daughter-drama and allergies....a bad combination....

Mahala said...

L.S.H.M.- or snorting it lol.

terri - don't worry, I'm watching my back!

anon - awww.. allergies so suck. The pollen's bad here, my truck has a yellow glow.

tiff said...

Three times? That's a lot of workout, but I'll give it the old college try.

It's amazing the Broomie still gets jobs!!

Jeni said...

Maybe having a Bubbles free day will erase the Broomhilda image in your mind for you! Enjoy the peace in the Asylum while it lasts!

Day Dreamer said...

As long as she's not handling the biscuits. Ew.

Isn't it funny that visions like that stay with us when we don't want them to at all. Like certain songs that drive you CRAZY.

It only takes on annoying person to start humming the Brady Bunch theme to make my day miserable!

Dianne said...

Broomhilda and humping it three times.

I'm going to need therapy to forget that image.

BetteJo said...

Yeah, not sure I could take that first thing in the morning!

Bah said...

Ew.

AC said...

You know, I haven't seen my girl sprint, but I smile too, when she complains about work *taking up her whole life*. And when she got her first paycheck and noticed the level of tax levy....

Bert said...

"I've not seen her move that fast in years."
And when pray did you last move that fast.
(runs away and hides)

BTW I have never had a hump-it day. Maybe I should ....