Broomhilda With Breakfast and Sprinting Amazons in the Morning Mist

Guess who didn't show up for work this morning?

That's right, it's a Bubbles free day. Hallyfreakin'loo-YA!

Bossman is still out until Friday. I am unsupervised, in a quiet, happy place and all is right with the world.

Okay, maybe it's not THAT blissful, but it's pretty darn good.

The Amazon was late for work this morning. There was growling, slamming and hurried flinging of various undergarments. I felt bad for her, but as I stood in the kitchen window, filling the coffee pot with water, I couldn't help but giggle a little as I witnessed her sprinting by. I've not seen her move that fast in years.

Spring has finally taken hold here in the mountains. I know this because I woke up this morning with a serious case of Big Fat Juicy Eyeball. Only one, mind you. The right one. It swells up sometime during the night, then expels it's watery juiciness throughout the day. I took some dolla' store brand Zyrtec, hopefully it'll ease the oozing.

I stopped at the New and Improved campground store this morning for a biscuit. There had been a very sweet little redheaded lady working there, greeting me with a friendly smile and a kind word, which I looked forward to almost as much as the biscuit.

Apparently, she quit.

She's been replaced by the crazy drunk lady that I've had several encounters with over the years. Ma had the bright idea to hire her to clean the house once, without my knowledge. I came home at lunch to find Broomhilda staggering around, waving can of Pledge over her head.

Let's just say, that didn't end well.

I encountered her again workin' at the dolla' store, where she exhibited violent tendencies while directing me to "PRESS THE BUTTON.. YOU MUST PRESS THE BUTTON NOW PLEASE.. MAKE YOUR SELECTION IMMEDIATELY," on the credit/debit card machine thingie.

She's a scary individual.

So you can imagine my dismay when she greeted me at the campground store early this morning. "How are YOU today?" she asked, flashing a grin, with pride in the one big ass yellowed tooth she's managed to hold on to.

"I'm good thanks, you?"

"It's hump-it! hump-it! hump-it! day! It's all GOOD!!" she answered.

I smiled and thanked her for my biscuit. While climbing in my truck, I realized I'd be tormented by the image of Broomhilda, with her long, stringy, dirty-blonde hair, snaggle-toothed grin and shiny gums, telling me to "hump-it! hump-it! hump-it!" for the rest of my day at the Asylum.

It's all good ya'll. Hump it three times, for Broomhilda.

Later Taters!