Bubbles Digs a Hole

Dang ya'll, sorry I didn't come back with the latest and greatest news from the holler yesterday. I got home last night and I broke the internets!! By the time I got it working again, I was too tired to form a coherant thought and gave up.

I'm here this morning to make a mends, pay my dues, make you forget my post slackiness. I have gossip. That's right, juicy fruit for your ears, slanderous statements to make your mouth water, guarnanteed to produce "OOOOOOOs" and "AAAAHHHHHs" from the blogging masses!

Okay, perhaps I exaggerate just a smidge.

Things were pretty quiet here at the Asylum yesterday. My phone rang only once all day with a call from an actual customer. Sales have dried up like a prune, the vultures are circling and aside from worrying that I'm going to be out of a job, the boredom of not having much to do is driving us all stark raving mad.

It's hard to look busy when it's this dead.

So anywho.. Bossman came back to my cubey yesterday afternoon. "Here's what I'm going to do when we go out of business and I can't find another job," he said as he handed me a photo of his latest woodworking project. It was a golf ball display rack thingie. I'm not in to golf, but I do admire fine craftsmanship. I complimented him on his project and speculated that he'd have to set up a stand at the side of the road, selling wooden trinkets to tourists. We had a good giggle, then I showed him my little venture in to e-commerce, Bossman doing a fine job of pretending to be impressed, then moving over to Bubbles cubicle.

He showed her the picture, explaining that it was for displaying golf balls.

Bubbles said, "Wayell... lit me jist ask you a girly question.. is that okay?" I assume that he nodded, I couldn't see what was going on.

"Why would innyone WONT to display golf balls? I mean, WHY would innyone CARE?" Her statement was followed by much loud laughing and ignorant giggling, as she often does when she thinks she's is just SO effin' cute and pleased with herself.

I'm quite certain that my eyes were bulged a full inch out of my head as I did a Daffy Duck double take in her general direction.

As a mother, I have an instinctual urge to protect those who are either too young or too mentally impaired to care for themselves, resulting in my chiming in, trying to do a little verbal damage control on her behalf. I think Bossman and I both explaining to her that a lot of people enjoy this little game called golf and might enjoy displaying a collection, etc. caused her some embarrassment, as if she'd told some great joke that neither of us seemed to get.

"I didn't mean to OFFEND you when I said no one would care about your little project. I honestly don't get why you'd want to display golf balls." (Offend is her favorite word lately. Precious the Elder must have had it on a spelling test this week.)

Bossman's reply?

"That's fine, I understand you don't share my interest in golf. I just won't ever show you anything ever again," he said smiling. He then turned and walked out of her cubicle.

Yeah.. the rest of the day, the tension on this end of the hall was so thick you could smell it.

And on that note, I'm gonna go find something to file.. or something. Don't worry, I promise to take notes if there are anymore outbursts.

This week is almost licked. Ya'll hang in there.

Later Taters.


Travel said...

I have a cricket ball on display (very long story how that came to be.)


Anonymous said...

Yeah...never make fun of your boss's ANYTHING unless you really know them well enough to joke!! Way to go Bubbles!

Tori Lennox said...

Bubbles is an idiot. Not that you don't already know this. *g*

Law Student Hot Mama said...

I don't think you have to worry about protecting Bubbles . . . . let her sit in the sun like an earthworm on a summer sidewalk! I had this really fat supervisor once who had no children and consequently was obsessed with her dog. She used to talk about that stupid dog like she was having sex with it. One day, I heard a fellow subordinate say to her, "But why do you like your dog so much? I mean, why spend money on doggie day care? It's JUST A DOG." The fellow subordinate didn't last too long after that.

Rachel said...

Bless her heart, she's as dumb as a post.

Mahala said...

The sad part of it all is, it's so rare for Bossman to "share" anything personal at all, show a little glimpse of humanity, ya know? And she has to go and be a big butt munch.

Mahala said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb said...

Bossman was hanging on to his dignity with a thin hair in showing that project around anyway. Wow for Bubbles though, that might be a personal best.

kenju said...

I think she just sealed her fate. Gawd, how dumb can you get?

DG said...

Gee. Yeah. That lil' game called golf? Strangely enough? Some people are really into it, Bubbles. I sh!t you not! It even has some superstars that play it. And famous folks. And regular joes who shouldn't be stomping around a golf course but just can't help it because they are freaking ADDICTED to it.

Are you kidding me? Wuz she born in a barn?

Wait a minute. Scratch that question. Clearly, she was.

Dianne said...

How cool of you to have the instinct to protect Bubbles from herself. Shame she's too dumb to get it.

Jeni said...

Suffice it to say, the word "Tact" is not in Bubbles' vocabulary, is it?

tiff said...

I bet Bubbles is a real ball to be married to.


terri said...

I'm in the same boat as you, trying to look busy these days. But I almost wish I had a Bubbles for sheer entertainment purposes. Everyone around here is just too damn nice to be blogworthy.

rennratt said...

Please quietly encourage Boss Man to continue his 'little project'.

MY boss is a golf freak, and proudly displays golf balls from places he has played.

In a gorgeous golf ball display case.

He paid over $300 for it.

If your Boss Man is ever inclined, the cases would likely sell well in the Raleigh, NC area.

Please pass that on to him.

Lisa said...

Hey, thanks for sticking up for me on my "troll's" blog. It was nice to hear some friendly voices on there.

Lisa said...

too funny. i came here via forks off the moment, and glad i was out clicking around. your blog is a nice read and it made me smile.