You know it's time to change your name and move when:
1. You live in a tiny, rural community
2. Everyone knows everyone else's business
3. Your first cousin's name is plastered on the evening news, complete with mugshot, after being fired from his teaching position at the ONE high school for having sex with one of his students.
It wouldn't be as bad if it were one of my cousins on Ma's side, but nooooooo. It has to be Daddy's brother's boy, so we have the same last name. It's not a common last name here. It's a pretty safe guess that anyone you encounter here in Hee-Haw County with that last name belongs to the same family.
I called Ma from the office this morning to let her know that I'd verified that it was my cousin on the news. She giggled and commented that one shouldn't be surprised, none of the men in that family could keep their britches on.
Lawsy.
Let this be a lesson to ya'll. This is what happens when your family tree does not fork.
I'm gonna go immerse myself in some coffee and do a little work. We'll talk more later.
7 comments:
Lawsy is right - Lawsy me!
My sister in law is the bane of our existence. Luckily she did most of her stuff in the neighboring county where she more or less disappears. Our little county newspaper prints the arrest reports every week and the court judgements too.
Still, at my mother in law's funeral (attended by exactly 4 people, me and T, and his sister and her boytoy) the sister in law was not only late but stoned out of her gourd and weaved and wobbled up the hill to the burial site wearing a bizarre HUGE red tam o'shanter and thigh high boots, prompting the grave digger to widen his eyes and say "T**** is THAT yore sister???"
So I understand. I do.
Ah yes...every family has one. Sometimes more!
My grandfather's brothers were a colorful lot, at one funeral both wives showed up. He never divorced the first one, she read the obituary and came to the funeral.
There-there, every family has one, remind anyone who says anything unkind that it could be there kin next.
DG
Things happen for a reason. Look on the bright side - budding freelance writer; local lass; publishing/blog/net savvy - what a wonderful time to cash in on the undercurrent of speculation (and dare I say gossip) that could soon to be another $1M best seller!! After all who needs to make this s**t up!
Gotta agree with everyone above here in that EVERY family has one -or will, at some point in time! My ex-brother-in-law got nailed for some underage stuff and so did a cousin on my Mom's side of my family tree. I've not heard of any tales along these lines on my Dad's side but ya never know when something will just sort of pop out of the woodwork. Chin up and use it as fodder for a best selling book maybe! Works for me anyway.
"This is what happens when your family tree does not fork".
Never a truer word has been spoken regarding small town families, LOL. I agree with everybody else who's commented, we've all got at least one nut lurking around the family reunion!
My family is full of bizarre people; one of my cousins is a Doodlebop.
On tour.
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