Sleepy Heads, Crisco and Larry the Cable Guy

Is it a pretty good sign that you're tired when you fill the cat food dish with bird seed, then tell the cat he's crotchety for not eating it?

How about when you hear your (adult) child calling from the other room, so instead of walking through the house to see what's up, you call her on the cellphone?

What is it about Monday's that are so much more tiring than the rest of the week?

I think there's going to be another melt down at the office soon. I can feel the tension mounting between Lulu and Thelma and Louise. I try to keep the peace, but it's getting to the point where my trying to smooth things over just seems to tick people off. It's time to back into my little corner and just wait for the bomb to drop. Maybe I should wear a helmet to work tomorrow.

I didn't get a chance to call the Bubba mechanic today and I heard there was a VFD meeting in his district tonight so it would have been pointless anyway. Heck, I should have just drove the hippy van to the meeting, surely amongst that gathering of able bodied men, I could have found someone to work on it.

It came a downpour earlier here in Frog Pond Holler. This meant that me and the Amazon were out there wrestling a garbage bag on to the hippy van window in the rain. It truly is a godsend that we don't have very many close neighbors. It was the kind of thing that Larry the Cable Guy would give big bucks to watch on pay per view.

I finally got to watch The Da Vinci Code all the way through yesterday afternoon. Views and personal beliefs aside, it was a pretty good flick. Me and Louise were talking about it at work this afternoon. Sometimes, it's like translating a foreign language talking to her.

Louise: "That owl-biner had him some issues, wut with his Crisco obsession and all."

Me: "I'm sorry, the what?"

Louise: "You know.. that owl-biner, oh you may not know this, but them thats lily white assed like that'un was, is called "owl-biner," that last part being spoken very slowly, to make sure that I, being the less worldly one, would understand.

Me: "Ooooh yeah, I've heard of them owl-biners before. Now, what was that about Crisco?"

Louise: "Shoot, I never did figger that part out, when he kept a prayin' for some Crisco. I kept wonderin' wuz he wantin' to make some biscuits er wut? He just kept a' sayin' it over and over "oooohhh Crisco" then he'd be jabberin in that EYE-talian. I just didn't get it. It didn't make no sense, none a'tall."

Me: "Louise, he was saying "Christo".. that's EYE-talian for "Christ."

Louise looked at me with her head cocked sideways, kinda like a blue-tick hound when he hears something in the bushes. "Mahala, I know the difference between our Lord and Savior and cookin' grease."

Me: "I wouldn't lie about something like that. Trust me, it was Christo."

Louise soon admitted, although you could tell it pained her to do so, that my explanation made more sense than hers. But I did catch her wondering around muttering about owl-biners and biscuits more than once today.

Gotta love her.


p00karabbit said...

oh my crisco!
thanks for the owl-biner.
i really needed that laugh.


the gritlet said...

I come from the backwoods, I talk the talk, but for the life of me, I can't figure what an owl-biner is.

It's a sad day for humanity.

Mahala said...

gritlet... albino :)

poopie said...

*snort* You just made my day :)

Tori Lennox said...

ROFL re the Crisco vs Christo debate!!! Isn't this the same woman who thinks the Distric of Columbia is in Canada? *g*

Mahala said...

Yes... yes it is. Now ya'll repeat after me.. "Bless her heart."