Bubbles, Bubbahubbies, Smokin' Hot and Setting Ma Adrift

Howdies ya'll :)

Let's jump right in with both feet shall we?

On the Cubicle Asylum:
Bubbles is still bubbly. To the point that I sit here in a sappy sweet, giggle induced coma for hours on end, daydreaming about wrapping my fat little sausage-like fingers around her neck and choking the life out of her.. just for some peace. I wouldn't actually DO it.. I'm just sayin'. In her world.. everything is PUURRR-fect, WOOON-derful, GREAT!!!!

I could almost take it if she weren't so obviously fake. One who feigns offence when I utter such profanities as "shit" or "damn" then makes comments referring to the oral sex habits of her bubbahubby in a public setting earns zero respect from me.

Don't treat me like the heathen to put all others to shame, who will surely burn for eternity in the deepest depths of hell for uttering the occasional wordy-dirty, when daily reference is made to the size of your bubbahubbies male member and your absolute disgust that as a female you feel obligated to give pleasure to the fore mentioned member, all while giggling and acting like you've never had sex in your life.. when you've given birth to two children who were quite obviously NOT the product of immaculate conception.

PHEW!!!! I feel better already.

On the Snazzy New SUV:
I didn't get it. It's a long story but what it boils down to is I just couldn't afford one more bill right now. It's ok. I've got what I need for now.

On Smoking:
Yesterday was three weeks since I quit. Yesterday was also the first day I've really, really wanted to smoke, but I fought it. In the meantime, you won't catch me anywhere near a set of bath scales. I'm eating myself into a whole new shopping experience. Look out Omar the tent maker, here I come.

On Ma:
I'm convinced that there is a special place reserved for me in heaven, simply because I've not wrapped her in bubble wrap, creating a Mafloat and set her adrift on the river to make her way into Tennessee and eventually washing up on the shore of some private estate at the big fancy lake down river, where she'd be rescued and upon removal of the gag from her mouth she would start bitching at SOMEONE at their inadequacy at removing her body from the river, accusing them of not doing it the way SHE would have done it and therefore deeming them incompetent of the most basic of life's tasks.

That's right.. I'm a flippen saint.

On Craig Ferguson:
Damn, he's just so fine. Don't forget to watch after the Superbowl this Sunday. I'll be there with bells on. Okay, I don't have bells, just a cotton robe with a missing strap. The tattas will be unrestrained. Put the proper authorities on standby.

On the Amazon:
She'll be a college graduate in another couple of months. How the hell did that happen? And how did this beautiful, intelligent child of light come out of ME? It boggles the mind. Oh and, when she graduates, she'll no longer be eligible for medical coverage on my policy. I can go to the single plan. Mo' money. Hot diggetty.

Okies my little tater tots, that sorta gets you caught up. I'll try to do better.

It's been a long time since I moved blogs from that old Gypsy wagon to here, so I think it's safe now to say, once again after a long while:

Ya'll be blessed.

It feels good to be able to say that again.