Of Coffee, Missing Bras and Bear Molesting

Yesterday morning I woke up, glanced at my alarm clock, which read "7:56 a.m.," freaked out (I'm supposed to be at work by eight) and for just a second of fleeting insanity, I actually thought I was going to rush around the house and get to work on time.

Hell I can't even find a bra to put on in that amount of time. It would probably help if they didn't land in the general vicinity of where I took them off, which could be anywhere.

It only took me about ninety seconds to realize that there was no way I would make it to work by eight. I'm not leaving without my coffee and I can't face that swamp water concoction my office mates call coffee. I accepted defeat and called the boss, letting him know that I'd be there in about an hour. This was hard for me, I never call in, sick or otherwise. He didn't seem to care one way or another.

Having realized I wasn't going to get the axe for calling in this one time, I put coffee on, let the dogs out, took a deep breath and got my bearings. I turned the television on, then realized the DVR was off. It took a minute for the cobwebs to clear, then I remembered. Craig Ferguson was back on after a week of reruns. Now thankful that I'd told Bossman I'd be late, I took my shower, curled up on the couch with a nice hot cup of coffee and watched Ferguson do his thing.

Things were looking up already.

I know I'm pathetic, but with Psycho Wendel lurking somewhere in the shadows of Frog Pond Holler, Uncle Mullet and the near stabbing of little cousin Waldo, beginning my day with a few laughs, sexual innuendo and Ferguson's sudden bursts of flashy dance moves, makes it all a little easier to deal with.

This morning however, I witnessed a scene that left me a little shaken. An act of bear groping in the elevator. That was a little disturbing. I think it was supposed to be bear wrestling, but there was definitely some groping going on. I know because I hit rewind and watched it again.

Dude, groping a bear's man berries is not cool.

*Snort*

I'm heading back to the cubicle asylum. Ya'll have a good day :)