Yesterday the Amazon and I drove down to Moe-Ray's Branch to get in touch with nature the only way I will, where nature is mowed, there are porta-potties and scattered plots of pavement. You have to drive down a back road along the river until the pavement runs out, then continue on for a few miles with nothing separating you from the river and sudden death but a quickly eroding river bank. Any pictures I take from there are taken from the confines of the van. Moe-Ray's Branch is a picnic area with a little boat ramp and a couple of small fishing piers. It's still "nature" but at least I can see a snake in time to run back to the van before I have a heart attack and die.On the way down that spooky dirt road, the Amazon asked, "Why do you keep slowing down and watching up the mountain?"
"I'm lookin', " I answered.
"Lookin' for what?"
"I wanna see a bear."
She then went on this mini tirade about how she'd had her one wild bear experience while visiting my aunt who lives up on top of a mountain. She said she really didn't have any need to see one again. But I've never seen one in the wild, just down at the skanky roadside zoos on the Cherokee reservation.
"I still wanna see a bear."
The Amazon then started something about how they can rip the doors off of a vehicle and questioned my intelligence for actually seeking one out. I can't help it, I want to see one. I'd like to spot a mountain lion too. From inside the van. At a distance.
When we got down to the picnic area, there was a couple with canoes having lunch. There were benches and picnic tables everywhere, yet they opted to sit on the ground and eat. There were two older women strolling around under the trees. We walked along the water and took some pictures, watched the fish surfacing to grab bugs, looked for mushrooms. Not to pick, just to photograph. There are more pictures other than the ones on Flickr, I didn't upload the ones the Amazon took, she'll post those on her account. Ding-a-ling forgot to pack her camera when she came home, so we shared mine.
We spent alot of time looking at the ground, searching for pretty colored leaves and odd mushroom formations. As we walked beneath the canopy of the trees towards the edge of the clearing, where real nature takes over, I stopped in my tracks.
"LOOK!!!!" I said, pointing at the ground.
"That's poop Mama," she explained.
"Yes, BEAR POOP!!!"
The Amazon rolled her eyes, then looked around to make sure no one she knew was nearby, seeing her crazy mother pointing at the ground, all a twitter over bear shit.
It was definitly a bear turd. I know this because we've seen the same thing on the property surrounding the plant and some of the bear hunters that work there showed me how to tell if a turd did indeed come out of the business end of a big, hairy bear. It would be much more romantic to say that it was instinctual, that I somehow channel the spirits of my native American forefathers, but it really was just some old toothless hillbillies who showed me how to tell.
"Give me my camera."
"Ummm no."
"Give it here! I'm serious."
"You are NOT taking pictures of bear turds."
"Why not? It's COOL!!!"
"Because you'll put it on your blog and I'm pretty sure that no one is as excited by seeing a big bear turd as you are."
"Fine, but I'm blogging it. AND I'm telling everyone that YOU wouldn't let me take pictures."
The nerve of some people's offspring.
8 comments:
I think bears are really neat. I have never seen one in the wild and I would love to. So, how can you tell if it is from a bear or some other critter?
DG
Ummm well, the sheer size of it is the first clue. No way that can come out of a dog. And it's usually black. Not sure why, but it is. Then there is an assorment of twigs and berries all mixed up in there. I have been known to poke around in it with a stick (I know that sounds gross and I'm embarrassed by how FASCINATED I am by it.)
Just in case you were wondering, I can also identify turkey poop, deer poop and rabbit poop.
My head is exploding with the most useless information anyone could ever need.
I can identify cat poop....I am great at cat poop.
It sounds like you would be great fun on a stroll in the woods on a pretty fall day, to bad you don't have pictures to prove it. Have a safe and fun trip on Monday.
DG
Tell Amazon I'm miffed I can't see the bear droppings. She's fired.
Laura: Look, someone has to keep my mother's insanity in check. If I'm fired, surely armageddon will fall upon us all!!!
I was all confused... why is there a photo of mushrooms when I wanted to see bear poop? :)
miz: Oh yeah, I'm good at both cat and dog poop as well.
travel: If nothing else, I'm entertaining in the woods. Especially during the hot weather when I hear something move in the brush. They can hear me clear over in the next county.
laura: LOL
merritt: Actually, there were mushrooms growing around the bear poop. There was heated debate as to whether the poop had been there so long that 'shrooms were growing in it, or if the bear had some sort of vendetta against mushrooms and had intentionally and with great aim, pooped upon them.
We ain't right.
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