Buttercups, Techie Stuff and a Few Wordy Dirties (be forewarned)

Wow, this day is almost gone and all I've accomplished is a trip to the grocery store. Granted, that's a trip over the hills, through the woods and past Grandma's house, but still.

I've also spent some time reading all about Google bots and scripts and adding links.... my head may explode. I'm no where near the geeky puter wiz I wish I was. I can scour the pages and take it all in, but most of it is Greek to me. I've decided to take the spiritual approach, just keep writing and they will come.

I used Gmail's chat function for the first time today. That was pretty cool, just don't click on "pop out" if you have a pop up blocker. That was a big ol' oops. Oh and I removed IE7 Beta 2 and installed Beta 3.

Dang, I have accomplished some stuff. Just not important stuff.


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Back a few years ago, when I was smitten with that person I normally refer to as that lyin' assed Canadian, there was a song that took on special meaning for me. One day he told me a story about how he'd gotten drunk and gone out driving in his truck (they always have a truck for some reason.) He said he'd pulled over to the side of the road, somewhere along the backroads of Aldergrove, BC and under the full moon he'd laid down in a field of buttercups and thought of me.

Now, before I continue, I have to explain that about 7/8 of everything this guy ever said to me was total bullshit. Deep down I knew it was bullshit, but to admit that would force me to face that all of the "I love yous" he fed me were bullshit as well (and they were.) So, I knew this story was probably a concoction of his twisted little mind, but I giggled and ooooooed like a total dingbat, eating it up, just happy for the attention.

We live, we learn.

I thought it was cute (gag me) to call this guy, who described himself to me as 6'3", 275 lbs of muscle and shoulder length, slightly curly brown hair (and who was actually 5'6" with a Canadian sailor buzzcut) the name "Buttercup." I know, I know, if I ever act that way again, you, the internet as a whole, have my permission to knock the living crap out of me.

This lyin' assed Canadian would, from time to time, have to "leave town." Now, I'm not going to tell you the line of total crap he used to feed me as the excuse why he had to be "away." It's too embarrassing, even though I never really believed it, I let him think I did. The truth of the matter was, I later learned, he was in the Navy. Regardless, on this one particular occasion, he'd been "away" for several months and I was all lovelorn and pathetic (no really, beat me senseless if I ever do it again.) This was during the time when I was exploring meditation and watching for signs etc.

I was sitting at my desk. I hadn't heard from him in forever and worried that I never would again. I got this really nervous feeling that I didn't understand. I now know to pay attention when I feel that way, but it used to scare me. I went outside, followed by Margie, one of my co-workers at the time who understood things of an other worldly nature.

"Margie.. what song is this?" I asked as I hummed a few notes of something that had just popped in my head. She just looked at me and shook her head.

"Stop talking and listen," she said. Which I tried to do, until the words started coming to me. The song was one I barely even remembered ever hearing before, one that was popular in the 60's. Heck, I wasn't even born until 65.

Why do you build me up.. Buttercup baby.. then you let me down.. but I'm still around...

I looked at Margie. "What the fuck?"

"Buttercup? Oh.. wait.. BUTTERCUP!!!!!"

"What?"

"BUTTERCUP you dumbass. Have you heard from the Canadian?" Margie didn't have a lot of patience when I failed to catch on to things right away.

"I haven't heard from him in like.. six months and I probably won't again." But when I got home that day, there were messages waiting for me from him. He was back.

I bring this up because today while doing the grocery shopping and checking the dates on some "special today" hot dogs, I heard something familiar on the "music to squeeze melons by" they have playing.

"Why do you build me up.. Buttercup baby .. just to let me down.. but I'm still around.. and then worst of all.. you never call baby when you say you will.. but I love you still...."

Ya'll can call it a coincidence if you want but.. um.. how many times have you heard that song lately?

What does it mean? Hell if I know. I'm not callin' the lyin assed Canadian if that's what you think. Maybe they (they being those unseen energies who guide us along life's path) are just letting me know they're around. The way things have been going lately, I could use the reassurance. Or maybe I'm to hear from someone. And of course, maybe I just happened to walk in the store at the right time.

Ya never know :)