Sunday, December 20, 2015

George Lopez, Nutmeg and Turbo Bitch

No I'm not dead. I didn't get abducted by aliens or run away to live in the woods with Bigfoot.

I'll get to all that in a minute. First, let me introduce you to the little heathen I found in the parking lot at The Asylum:

Nutmeg


Her name is Nutmeg. She was a tiny little thing, sitting in my parking space one day when I came back from lunch. I caught her with a bribe of the ham sandwich I'd brought. The vet guesses she was about 3 months old when I found her.

She's a snuggle bunny and Grimm has claimed her as his own. They play and he grooms her, it's adorable.

Kitty? Not so much. But at least now Grimm leaves her alone.

So let's dive head first in to everything else, shall we?

The Asylum is a clusterfuck. The Germans, who have now been bought by The Swiss, are amazing. They're making improvements left and right, we have amazing health insurance and nice pay. However, the little hussy they hired as Business Administrator is a total turbo bitch.

To date, I've been called in to a meeting with a select few others from the office and accused of starting rumors because business is slow and some of the guys from the plant asked the Big Guy why Gorilla Head wasn't selling anything.

They seem to think that when the plant guys are standing around with their thumbs up their hiney, they don't have enough sense to figure out why on their own.

I've been asked to leave a training meeting because, although I was sick as a dog and trying not to choke on my own snot, but showed up anyway, my cough was disruptive.

I lost my office and got kicked back to the hallway.

Lulu got her butt reamed for ten minutes because Turbo Bitch forgot what we told her two days before.

The new receptionist is a whiney ass ..... AND SHE STOLE MY EFFIN' SCISSORS.

To quote Stevie Nicks:

"The sea changes colors, but the sea, does not change."

Anywho, there's more.. so much more.. but I don't want to get myself all in a wad again. I've spent the past months sucking up and trying to be welcoming of the newest members of our staff, but this past week, they flipped the bitch switch.

In other news, I've been avoiding FB and Twitter mainly because of politics. Scratch that.. mainly because of Donald Trump. I even got my ass handed to me by George Lopez on Twitter.  Time for a reality check.

Also, I'm paranoid as hell at work to use the internet. They gave us the wiffy password, even put a access thingie in the hall, right outside my office. All I need is my phone to auto log on to FB and I'm toast. Or maybe not. I'm not sure. So.. no innerwebs at work.

Anyone know anything about phone encryption?

Back at the trailer, I've been working my ass off trying to get stuff back in order.

I know, Same ol' Song and Dance.

So far, I've gotten rid of the old entertainment center and the ginormous box tv. (I say got rid of, but they're piled on the front porch. The county wants 15 bucks to toss a tv. WTF???) I got a book case to ease the scatter of books every damn where. The fireplace has been beautified with some remote controlled candles from the dolla store.

I'm getting there.

But right now? The laundry room smells like skanky cat butt and there are dishes piled to kingdom come.

I'd better get on that.

Ya'll have a great holiday and hang in there. We're all gonna make it.

Later Taters!!

7 comments:

Travel said...

Omg! Omg! Omg!, you are still alive, you haven't run off to live with a crazy scotsman. It is so great to hear from you! DG

Mahala said...

Get rid of some dishes and that way you have to keep them clean. That's what we did...it helps. Oh and I am so glad to see you're back to blogging. I was getting worried about ya.
Mahala

tiff said...

That Stevie - what a philosopher.

Thanks for letting us know what's going down in the Holler. We missed you!

Unknown said...

So glad you're back! I've really worried about you. Thanks for the updates.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you back!!

Joy S

Anonymous said...

I was getting worried...and if you figure out that encryption thingie, pass it on to me. I have the same problem at work. Hang in!!!

Lost in the cube

kenju said...

I have been thinking about you and wondering where you are. Thanks for this post, which I missed earlier, but it's time for a new one. Hope you're doing better and not snowed under.