The Asylum: Better than a Soap Opera

Last week, Twatwaffle called Tiny and me to her office to get our advice on which sales reps to invite down for a corporate mandated pow-wow with the Germans. We offered our suggestions, provided her with contact information and thought that was the end of it. 

But no one wanted to come, which kinda cracked me up.

Corporate wasn't going to admit to the Germans that we no longer have any relationship with our sales reps at all, so they came up with their own list. In the end, there were two sales reps out of a list of about 35, one German and his interpreter. One of the reps was Larry, a jolly, white haired feller who is all salesman, 100% lovable bullshit artist. The other was the gorilla head lookin' mother effer that was hired as sales manager between Bossholio and Doctah Chili and lasted all of 24 hours. He had neglected to mention that he was still employed by his old company, running it even, while working for us. 

Conflict of interest much?

Let's stop here and review a few things, shall we?

1. Corporate asked for Magilla Gorilla to be invited, yet they knew his history.. hell.. they're the ones that told TW she had to fire him. 
2. Sparkles now works for the Germans, driving two hours to work each day.
3. TW confided that Sparkles, through the Germans, is still calling some of the shots.

Just file that stuff away, as Thelma would say, "in the important part of your brain." I have a feeling it will be significant later.

Once inside, they were tempted by goodies:

Grocery store cookies, a cup of leftover Christmas candy and some cheap bottled water, displayed lovingly on a wrinkled old sheet, still bearing Mickey Mouse and clown patches from Twatwaffle's 25 year old son's youth. 

For someone who thinks she's all high fallootin' and better than the rest of us, you'd think she'd have enough friggen sense to pick up a plastic tablecloth from the dollar store.


Below is the view that greeted our guests upon arrival:

Some of the steps at the main entrance fell off. Literally just crumbled and tumbled to the ground. No one's even swept up the crumbs. That's masking tape ensuring our safety.

Seriously. I took pictures just to prove that I don't make this shit up.

I don't know what happened during the meeting. No one from corporate showed up. Why would this German company want to meet our sales reps? 

Larry stepped out of the meeting early, hollering back "Ya'll have a nice visit," then came up to my office to talk business. I got the impression he wasn't really being included in the conversation.

I'll bet ya'll a dollar that by fall, Big Ol' Gorilla Head will be the new sales manager.. and I will be gone. This man got fired for playing both ends against the middle, then called corporate and said I was talking smack about him to his former coworkers (which I did not.) 

My tolerance for BS is dwindling fast. If that happens, I'm riding my unemployment check until I get my head screwed back on straight then finding employment elsewhere. 

I honestly don't think my nerves will take it. 


The plot thickens. I'll keep ya'll posted.

 Later Taters!