The Passive Aggressive Screen Saver

Today at The Cubicle Asylum, we had a visit from the CEO. We all dressed to impress, Sparkles wore a "tuck in shirt" and I wrestled my girls in to a low cut dress. I even put on a necklace. I know, it doesn't sound like much, but normally I'm barely one step above pajama pants, a t-shirt and ponytail. It probably would have helped if I'd devoted some time to the chin hairs, but I did not, so I looked kinda like a bag lady who robbed the mannequin at the Goodwill.


Anywho, our fearless leader, a vertically challenged-EYE-talyin-fitness freak, walked among us common folk, asking how we all were. Me and Lulu were all... "Oh we're dewin' gooood.. juss fiiiine. How's yer familee n' nem?"

Because me and Lulu talk all big and bad when no one's there to hear us, but given the opportunity to tell the CEO an ear full of why The Cubicle Asylum is a soul sucking, slave driving, God forsaken hell hole, we dummy up and smile like good little imbeciles. However, Thelma? Thelma let it fly. She's at the front desk and me and Lulu are towards the back, so we only got the occasional, "And another thing.."

Not to worry though, after he left, Thelma ran back to give us a play-by-play. She asked him why just "us girls" in the office had our hours cut when we were the only ones who actually did anything.

The CEO said he was real sorry about that.

The money he spent on his shoes would pay my house payment for a month.. at least.

He did have the cajones to ask me if I missed my little buddy. He was referring to Bossholio. I glared, I said, "Nope."

"Have you heard from him? Does anyone know how he is?"

"He didn't speak to me when he was here, why would he call me?"

The GM's face went blood red.

As Mr. CEO spoke, his eyes kept wandering to my computer screen saver. I could tell he was trying to read what the scrolling text said. I expected him to ask why it said what it did or where the quote was from, but he never did. It was the only time during his entire visit that he seemed to be actually paying attention to anything.
"The lowest man on the totem pole possesses the greatest strength"

I hope he thought about that as he drove his fancy SUV rental back to the airport for his return trip. I hope it made him nervous.