Mahala's State of the Holler Address

We're all still a little Cray Cray here in The Holler

Let's get caught up on stuff and things, kay?

Working Commando

I'm becoming a little disenchanted with the whole "sell-overpriced-stuff-on-the-teevee-in-your-jammies-for-minimum-wage" job. I'm thankful to be able to work from home without spending money on gas and the opportunity to work in my skivvies with a pup at my feet. I don't know what I'd be doing for money to make ends meet without it, but honestly? They have kind of an asshole way of treating employees.

And I worked for Bossholio. I know that of which I speak.

Let me clarify first that it's not the actual tv shopping company that gives me grief. It's the third party outfit I'm  employed by.

First, it's the emails. Email is the preferred method of communication by The Company. I have never not shown up for a shift, but suddenly we're getting these long, threatening emails every week detailing what will happen if we fail to log on. It spells out how the Big Boss checks at the start, middle and other intervals throughout the shift to see who's not shown up and to decide who to block. It seems to me that if you can do all that, you could do some copy and pasting of email addys and send the email to those to whom it applies.

Just a thought.

Also, five minutes after you get the threatening email, you get one begging for extra help for the night. It kinda puts a damper on your willingness to help.

I had to stop going to the discussion boards. It was constant public fights between the Big Boss and anyone who questioned why they got blocked, usually ending with the BB threatening to publish the employee in question's schedule adherence stats on the boards.

The opposite of professional.

We are supposed to keep all our calls to less than three and a half minutes and when you're taking sales calls, which is what we're supposed to be doing, it's not a problem. However, we're not supposed to transfer calls to Customer Service, even when they request customer service. We're supposed to handle it ourselves. I'm not sure why you HAVE a customer service department if you can't transfer calls to them, but whatever. Trying to figure out what Sally Mae ordered when she doesn't even remember, then after spending 10 minutes questioning her and doing item searches only to find out that she meant to call that other channel... all while having a flashing warning at the bottom of your screen telling you your call is too long... seems a bit much... even in your jammies.

I'm currently under a deadline to improve my sales. I need the job, but I'm not going to stress out over it. I do the best I can and I'll just deal with the consequences if that's not good enough. It'll be fine.

I am the sales ninja.

Life Without Zombies

It's been over a week without satellite and honestly, I don't know why we even have it. The Amazon doesn't get home from work until after midnight every night and I work so much through the week, I can't watch it either. This weekend I've figured out that between Netflix and Hulu, there isn't much I can't watch.

Except The Walking Dead. I miss Daryl.

Also? I found out this morning that there's a whole new season of Touch I didn't even know about. I LOVE THIS SHOW. I am currently getting caught up on the serious lack of Kiefer Sutherland there's been in my life.

How's The Weather Down Yonder?

It's spring in the holler, which means the days alternate between colder than penguin snot and omg wtf is up with this bewb sweat already? Right now, the sun is shining, I've got the back door open, ceiling fans going and we're under a winter storm watch. They're predicting a few inches of snow by Tuesday afternoon.

I hope the power doesn't go out, but if it does I've got some extra wood in the backseat of the truck that I've been riding around with for two weeks.

Meanwhile, Back At The Asylum

I love Sparkles. Not in a I-wanna-jump-his-bones kinda way, but in an OMG-THE-BEST-BOSS-EVER way. I tell T.A. he's Sparkles the Magical Unicorn. If he knew I called him that, he'd be horrified. It's not all glitter and ice cream all the time, I mean, sales are down this month and sometimes he walks around looking like Grumpy Cat but there's a sense of  us being in this thing together and trying to figure out what to do to make things better, instead of how it used to be, which was all "COMPASSION? I DON'T NEED NO STEENKING COMPASSION!!! DO IT SLAVE!!!

I no longer have to take medication to get through the day at work. That kind of says it all.

Speaking of Medication

I'm back on the WHERE'S MY EFFIN COLCHICINE MOTHER FECKER??? roller coaster.  I still get it free, when I get it. The company that makes it changed distributors and the new distributor isn't on Dr. Sexypants "e-scription" list. The new company keeps telling me that they sent a Rx request to Dr. Sexypants' office and Dr. Sexypants' office says they haven't seen anything and I'm trying to call them both, spending a big chunk of my life that I'll never get back in automated telephone system hell. Why the crapdammit they can't call each other is beyond me.

In the meantime, I've been rationing the remaining pills, taking way less than I'm supposed to and as a result I've got a serious case of the Rice Crispy joints. I couldn't use my thumbs this morning. You need thumbs. Have you ever witnessed a seeing eye dog make coffee? No. Why? BECAUSE YOU NEED THUMBS, THAT'S WHY.

I tried to load the dishwasher this morning. I was juggling plates like a circus performer.

I'm calling them tomorrow. I might have to get ugly.

Anywho, it's getting up in the evening on Sunday night, so I'd better hunt up some dinner and try to settle in and get ready for the snowstorm... and the rest of the week.

Ya'll have a good one. We'll talk again soon.

Later Taters!!