At Least No One Was Stabbed With A Spork

It's nearly 1a.m. I should be in bed but my head is still wet from the shower and honestly, I'm not sure I could sleep right now anyway.

It's been a record setting day of suckage. It's one of those days when I remind myself that I love to say, "what goes around comes around" and then find myself asking... WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO CAUSE THIS SHIT???

It all began when I stopped for gas this morning on the way to work. My "low fuel" light had been blinking for days and it was starting to get an attitude. Since gas is well over $4 a gallon in the holler, I decided I'd just get $10 to hold me over until this afternoon when I was going to Big City to pick Sammy up from the vet. Gas is much cheaper in Tennessee for some reason. When my debit card was declined, I didn't get too excited. I knew I was getting low on funds and I'd transferred some yesterday, but our bank just changed hands and everyone's having problems with their deposits being credited to their accounts. No biggie, I was pretty sure I had money in my Paypal account. Luckily that one went through.

I was a little bitchy when I got to work, but I chalked the problems up to growing pains at the new bank. Then I checked my balance online.

-$235.00

NEGATIVE.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and say I've never been overdrawn, but I at least had a friggen CLUE it was going to happen before hand. Apparently, when I transferred funds LAST WEEK to pay my house payment... TO THE SAME BANK.. it didn't go through until last night.

So anyway, I spent the day freaking out, trying to figure out how to juggle crap AND opening a new account at an online bank, the same one The Amazon happens to work for... the one with the goofy commercials. You know.. the dog barking "I love my bank!" At least if I screw up there they'll only charge me $9 versus the $35 fee I'm getting slammed with at my current account.

Granted, I should have been keeping up with my balance better, but I was used to looking at it online and it being updated throughout the day, not waiting a flippin' week to show a transaction between two accounts WITHIN THE SAME BANK.

Craziness.

I decided I'd have to break down and whip out one of my credit cards to make it to the next payday. It'll be okay. I am the coupon clippin' ninja of Frog Pond Holler.

I left work at 5 to drive to Big City to get Sammy. I was making good time, boogieing along, looking forward to stopping at Long John's after I picked up the Boston Baked Beagle from his day at the spa. I had just started through downtown when it dawned on me that I didn't remember sticking my purse in my case before I left work. While stopped at a light, I dug through the cab of the truck, through my case, around the floor....

I had less than an eighth of a tank of gas.. in my BIG ASS TRUCK... with no checkbook,  no cash, no plastic OF ANY KIND, 25 miles from home.

Can you say screwed?

I explained to the receptionist at the vets office, who told me not to even worry about it. Sammy's weekly dips to get his skin condition under control were only $25 and I guess she wasn't worried, she knew I'd be back next Wednesday. When I got back outside, I called Aunt Moses.. because there wasn't anyone else to call. I told her if she could get to Scary Hillbilly Town I'd fill her truck up with gas. I sent her to the plant to see if anyone was still there, so she could get my purse. She called back a couple minutes later to ask where I was. I assumed she got my purse.

In the meantime, T.A. called me and offered to leave work to come get me. She works close to Big City, an hour from Frog Pond Holler in the opposite direction. It would have taken her about two hours to get where I was.

Rural living is kinda spread out.

In the meantime, I was emailing my innerwebby friend in Texas, who kindly listened to my melt down. Thank God for technology. Sammy sat patiently in the passenger seat this whole time, looking puzzled, wondering why the hell the truck wasn't moving. He's such a good boy.

Aunt Moses finally pulled up at around 7:15 in a very nice car with a little old lady riding shotgun.

Apparently she'd borrowed both car and $20 from a woman she used to take care of.. and brought her with her... when she discovered that no one was working over at the plant.

I got gas and kept out enough to grab Ma a cheeseburger, then bawled all the way back to the holler. I don't even care to admit it. I figured I was due for a booger snorting, snot churning, ugly girl cry after the day I'd had.

I was so happy when I finally got home. Sammy did the Boston Baked Beagle Happy Dance all over Ma's bed. All I wanted to do was get everyone fed so I could pull my clothes off and crash. Which I did.

Tomorrow's another day. I'm almost afraid to go to sleep and wake up to face another one.

I guess I have to though.

We'll talk again soon. Later Taters!

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