Sammy the Boston Baked Beagle had his ear surgery on Wednesday. When I arrived at the vet's office to pick him up, they were going over instructions and mentioned that he had buttons in his ear. Now.. silly me.. I assumed she meant some kinda weird medical stitch resembling a button or a funky new way of closing a wound.
My dog has buttons sewn to his ear. Like, ripped off someone's jacket buttons. Different colors and sizes.
What the hell?
She said it was to weigh it down so it would heal correctly. I think she's chittin' me. I think there's probably a picture of Sammy's poor, funktacular ear uploaded to some freaky dog piercing site.. for vets. Like the pictures on "I Can Has Cheezburger" but "Look What I Did to This Dog."
I've had a great many critters over the years with every ailment imaginable. I've never brought one home with buttons. Are zippers next?
As of about two hours ago, we'd been without heat in the trailer for over a week. Never mind how it happened, if I start talking about it I'll just get pissed off all over again and end up saying stuff that I shouldn't, all that matters is that it's colder than a well digger's left butt cheek up in that trailer. Speaking of butt cheeks, the potty palace isn't feeling all that palatial. More iglooish.
Anywho, I had to leave work and run home in the middle of the afternoon, which makes Bossholio SUPER DUPER happy, to meet the oil delivery guy and pay him. And then?
I couldn't get it to kick on. I'm looking forward to trying to figure THAT clusterfuck out when I get off work.
Our PM had this cd she said I HAD to listen to. Which I did. It's country. By the time it was over, I was sobbing, craving a beer and a Marlboro and contemplating driving my truck off the bridge into the river. I'll have to force feed my ears a few hours of Judas Priest and Whitesnake just to get myself back on an even keel.
Lola has learned to get on the bed. I had to get up and hike across the frozen tundra to the ice cold potty next door at like.. 5:30 this morning. I came back with every intention of going back to sleep for about an hour. Lola, however, decided that since I was awake, it was time for her food.
Have you ever been head butted by a bunny at 5:30 a.m.? No? Well, it's funny as crap.. the first four or five times. After that, it starts to get annoying. I was so thankful when she finally stopped. I was whispering in the dark, "good bunny, go to sleep" with eyes closed, not realizing she was just backing up to take a running fit back and forth across the bed. Unfortunately, my head was right in her way.
She's got big ass feet yo. I got mule kicked in the eye.
I don't care if it festers up like it's going to explode. I will NOT go to the ER and tell them I got clocked by a bunny rabbit.
I've been thinking about my recent macular degeneration diagnosis. It just proves what our elders have told us all along. Too much time cozied up to the batteries will make you go blind.
I go back to the doctor for my regular physical on the 20th. I'm sort of afraid. I mean, I went to the dentist to have a tooth looked at and ended up having two pulled. I had a routine eye exam and out that happy bit of news. Now? I've developed a slight tremor.. tremble.. something.
That's right. I'm vibrating. Maybe this means I can cut back on the batteries and, ultimately, save my sight.
Take THAT Dr. Oz.
Thank God. It's time to call it a day. I hope ya'll have the best weekend ever. We'll talk again soon.